I had my birthday last month, Feb 18th to be exact. I guess it was one of those half way milestones, no longer early 50's, on my way to 60. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I have not had nearly the adventures I thought I would have had when I was young. So much of my early years were consumed (no pun intended) with parenting, food, my obesity, and poor health. Now I am healthy, but not in a financial place to do all the traveling etc I had hoped for. I guess you can't have everything, but as you get older you do become hyper aware of the time you have left on this planet and think a lot about whether you are spending it doing what you would like to be doing.
I had a lifelong dream of living by the beach. I do. I had a lifelong dream of finding and marrying someone that would love me unconditionally. I have. I had a goal of my Cambridge business being my retirement income. It is. Now this one may seem weird, but I love Disneyland and being a So Ca girl it was one of my favorite places. I dreamed of living close enough to be able to have a resident pass and go whenever I felt like it. Not being a fan of Anaheim I never made the move...but.... we now live in Fl about an hour and a quarter away from Disney World with resident passes in hand. Check! Life is good.
Years ago when my kids were young.. I was a single mom, we were on food stamps, I was disabled, and life was bleak living in a government subsidized apartment complex, I struggled constantly to keep us afloat and not let my kids know how desperate our situation was. I wanted them to have as normal of a childhood as I could provide as a single parent. I ran a licensed day care in our apartment and did the best I could. I was always aware of how well my childhood friends had done and how different our lives were. Even something as simple as having a car less then 20 years old, or taking a vacation, or even having a VCR was stuff I only dreamed about. Forget about ever owning my own home. For some reason my life had taken a detour and it was about survival, nothing else.
One day I sat and made a list of all the things I wished to achieve and acquire. It was crazy and out of reach, but I just wanted to see it all in writing. #1 was lose weight and get healthy and it went on to other things, ultimately ending with a house of my own. I taped it to the wall next to my bed and forgot about it. Most of the things on the list were simple, not extravagant, but still not in sight.
I remember a movie that was a favorite of mine and my kids. It was called "A Home Of Our Own" with Kathy Bates playing a widowed mother searching for a place she could raise her kids. There is a line that summed up how it was for us. One of her boys is looking in a store window at Christmas and his adult voice narrator said, "When I was a kid, everything you saw...was something you couldn't have". Yup. It was like that.
Anyway, it was some years later. We were still living in that apartment, but things had changed. I had lost my weight on Cambridge. In that experience I discovered I was so much stronger then I'd given myself credit for. I became a Distributor and had built a strong business in a very short time. One day my daughter came to me with a peice of paper. She showed it to me and said, "Mom...do you realize that you have achieved just about everything on this list?" I had forgotten about it and was shocked to see that she was right! The only 3 things remaining were to buy my own home, find love, and travel. 4 months later I bought my first home. A 2800 sq ft home on half an acre in central Ca with a ready made park like play ground in the back for my day care, 20 fruit trees and a place to move my beloved elderly Aunt in with us. It was all pretty incredible for my little family. That was almost 11 years ago. After 4 years I sold that home and made a nice profit, enough to buy a beautiful home on the river in Utah. We spent 6 happy years there, I eventually started dating and then met my husband. We've been married for 2 years now and moved across the country to where we are now, 6 miles from the most amazing beaches.
I guess my reason for this post, other then I was sitting here this morning counting my blessings and taking a moment to realize how fortunate I am, was to put it out there that no matter how your life is now, no matter how defeated you may feel at the moment, life can turn on a dime if you let it. It takes work and courage and a willingness to abandon old beliefs and habits and whatever has been holding you back, but you can accomplish great things if you put you mind and your shoulder to it and not let anything stop you. Making that list so many years ago when I had no reason to think any of it would ever become reality was that first tiny push to cracking the door of possibilities. I didn't need to believe at the time that any of it would happen, because I didn't! lol! I don't know why I taped it up rather then tear it up, but it was the beginning of the change for me. My life really began at 42 and by the time I was 50, I was finally feeling free to be the person I should have been all along.
Never underestimate your ability to change yourself or the circumstances of your life. We are so much more powerful then we believe ourselves to be. Some things in life happen to us, but most things happen because of us. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for the situation you're in because that just means you can change it.
So..turning 55? Well....that just means I have had one more year to celebrate my life that it took so long for me to discover.
One day I sat and made a list of all the things I wished to achieve and acquire. It was crazy and out of reach, but I just wanted to see it all in writing. #1 was lose weight and get healthy and it went on to other things, ultimately ending with a house of my own. I taped it to the wall next to my bed and forgot about it. Most of the things on the list were simple, not extravagant, but still not in sight.
I remember a movie that was a favorite of mine and my kids. It was called "A Home Of Our Own" with Kathy Bates playing a widowed mother searching for a place she could raise her kids. There is a line that summed up how it was for us. One of her boys is looking in a store window at Christmas and his adult voice narrator said, "When I was a kid, everything you saw...was something you couldn't have". Yup. It was like that.
Anyway, it was some years later. We were still living in that apartment, but things had changed. I had lost my weight on Cambridge. In that experience I discovered I was so much stronger then I'd given myself credit for. I became a Distributor and had built a strong business in a very short time. One day my daughter came to me with a peice of paper. She showed it to me and said, "Mom...do you realize that you have achieved just about everything on this list?" I had forgotten about it and was shocked to see that she was right! The only 3 things remaining were to buy my own home, find love, and travel. 4 months later I bought my first home. A 2800 sq ft home on half an acre in central Ca with a ready made park like play ground in the back for my day care, 20 fruit trees and a place to move my beloved elderly Aunt in with us. It was all pretty incredible for my little family. That was almost 11 years ago. After 4 years I sold that home and made a nice profit, enough to buy a beautiful home on the river in Utah. We spent 6 happy years there, I eventually started dating and then met my husband. We've been married for 2 years now and moved across the country to where we are now, 6 miles from the most amazing beaches.
I guess my reason for this post, other then I was sitting here this morning counting my blessings and taking a moment to realize how fortunate I am, was to put it out there that no matter how your life is now, no matter how defeated you may feel at the moment, life can turn on a dime if you let it. It takes work and courage and a willingness to abandon old beliefs and habits and whatever has been holding you back, but you can accomplish great things if you put you mind and your shoulder to it and not let anything stop you. Making that list so many years ago when I had no reason to think any of it would ever become reality was that first tiny push to cracking the door of possibilities. I didn't need to believe at the time that any of it would happen, because I didn't! lol! I don't know why I taped it up rather then tear it up, but it was the beginning of the change for me. My life really began at 42 and by the time I was 50, I was finally feeling free to be the person I should have been all along.
Never underestimate your ability to change yourself or the circumstances of your life. We are so much more powerful then we believe ourselves to be. Some things in life happen to us, but most things happen because of us. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for the situation you're in because that just means you can change it.
So..turning 55? Well....that just means I have had one more year to celebrate my life that it took so long for me to discover.
No comments:
Post a Comment