Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 08/13/14:
With the suicide of Robin Williams, a lot of speculation is being shared regarding what the cause was for his tragic decision to end his life. He was after all, just a man. He had a career, a family, a couple of divorces, a health crisis, personal losses of friends, struggled with addictions and depression...not much different than the average person. The only thing that set him apart was that he was in the entertainment business. Lots of people are and there does seem to be a high level of deaths due to suicide and overdoses within those in the entertainment business, but maybe that is only because we are bombarded with the news when it happens with someone famous. People die every day for the same reasons that we never hear about. Some of us may even have someone in our family that ended their life or attempted to, or who maybe has addictions that they have not been able to overcome. What makes one person able to overcome and another one to give up?
We have discussed the concept of overeating as an addiction. Some people with chemical addictions take offense at that idea. They do not believe that food can be an addictive substance causing the person to knowingly be self destructive and even endanger their life by indulging in it like someone addicted to a drug or alcohol.
I think we do not need to classify things so much. Any person who repeatedly partakes in a substance or behavior that is harmful or destructive to mind and/or body is suffering from the same basic problem. Food, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, all can be the eventual end of life. All can rob the person of quality of life, end relationships, hurt innocent people, cause depression and a sense of failure. Logic tells the person to just stop. Quit. Change. Easier said then done.
Rehab is a popular option for drug and alcohol addictions, even sexual addicts have rehab....for those that can afford it. Eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia have recovery centers. All of these self destructive behaviors have intervention options. What is there for the obese? We are no different. Our psychology is very much the same as any other addict. Where is our rehab?
Depression and hopelessness is the natural result of a life out of balance, a life out of control. Not everyone can pull themselves out once they descend in to the pit, especially if they are still battling their addictions. My own personal experience with depression went on for many years. I was medicated and had some therapy, but it didn't cure anything. It wasn't until I got my addiction for food under control and began to put some distance between it and my sense of self that I realized I wasn't a "depressed person". I was a person struggling with an extreme problem that effected every aspect of my life. A problem that I felt powerless to do anything about, no matter how hard or how long I tried. I wasn't depressed. It was just that the life I was living sucked really bad.
Beginning the process of change is intimidating and scary and exciting and unknown. Those of us that hold tightly to whatever we have used to cope or to self medicate do NOT give it up willingly. We can't see life on the other side of addiction and believe that we can ever be truly and permanently free or at peace. The people in our lives grow weary of our repeated attempts at recovery and we gradually lose our support system and can find ourselves feeling alone.
What makes one person give up and another fight until they are free? Hard to say. To see someone who appears to have all the resources available to them to overcome their addictions, only to commit suicide...makes sense to no one but them. Oprah had unlimited resources to deal with her obesity. Personal chefs, personal trainers, therapy, some of the world's most respected minds a phone call away...she lost weight and gained it back the same as any other food addict. We are all the same.
When we lose someone like Robin Williams to addiction or suicide it shakes us up and can cause us to examine our own problems a little more closely. It is a time for empathy and an unfortunate opportunity to realize we are all battling our demons of one kind or another. He didn't have it in him to fight anymore. I can't imagine that kind of desperate sadness to actually do something to end my own life.
Hopelessness is the enemy. When a person loses hope, there is no more reason to fight or change or believe there is anything to save them. I have had the privilege of being in the receiving end of phone calls over the years of people making one more attempt at reaching out for help. They don't believe in themselves anymore or their ability to change. There is nothing better then if by the end of the conversation I hear the magic words, "I have hope". It's a beginning.
Never give up on achieving the life you want. Losing weight in no way gets the respect it deserves. Living life as an obese person is hard in every way. Overcoming what drives a person to self abuse with food is a tremendous accomplishment. Remaining "food sober" is no walk in the park either. We all know that. Never give up.
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