So here I am on day 15! I am well on my way to achieving my ultimate weight loss goal. My high school weight. Back when I was in high school I never thought of myself as thin. Not by a long shot! I had spent my entire life up until then being the chubby kid so it was all I knew. I was 5'9" so I was already taking up more space then any of my petite little 5'4" friends were, and they were all so willowy. My body always felt bulky to me, even thought I was only a size 7. I was curvy, but the style back then was to look like a 9 year old boy so I just didn't fit the mold.
I look back at the few pictures I have of myself as a teenager and I realize I was absolutely perfect for me. I was physically healthy, (once I recovered from the horrible crash diet I had been on) but my mind was still the mind of the "fat girl" who didn't look like her lithe, wispy friends. Unfortunately my distorted self image eventually became my reality, only much worse.
Now, my goal is to go back to my ideal weight and enjoy and appreciate what I should have when I had it before. Will I look 16 again? HAHAHAHAHA! Such a funny question. I now live in a 55 year old body that has been beaten to Hell and back, but for an old girl...it's all good. My thighs will never make a public appearance in shorts or swim suit, even though I live in Florida. But I can live with that. I come from a family with people that die too early. My mom at 62, her Father at only 45, and more recently this past Oct, my sister that was only 2 years older then me. I have a history of diabetes that keeps snapping at my heels as I try to outrun it and heart disease...well...the list is long. I've managed to outrun the pack of health issues so far, but I know enough to know that getting older will trip me up if I don't do everything I can to be as healthy as I can and priority 1 is get rid of the last layer of excess me that for some reason up until now, I was not ready to let go of.
Day 15 is an awesome place to be! I feel great and I already see changes. I refuse to weigh so I have no idea how much I've lost, but I do know that all attempts I've made to do this over the last 12 years ended when I saw a certain number on the scale. Why? heck if I know, but this time I won't know when I reach or speed right on past it. I plan to just focus on what I'm doing and not fall in to any old traps that trigger old behaviors. Not gonna do it!
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