Wednesday, October 15, 2014

How To Feel Motivated

First, put on a pair of High School pants.....

Ok, dumb joke. My apologies. But you know what? That is actually my goal for 2014. I graduated High School in 1976. Wait! Before you do the math, please keep in mind that I was more then a year younger then my classmates. That used to matter a lot when I was younger, but I guess not so mach anymore 38 years (gasp!) later. Anyway, back on the subject. Motivation.

When I was at my heaviest, my motivation was staying alive. Hovering somewhere in the 330's with a long list of serious health issues and chronic debilitating pain, each normal day to day activity, like getting up from my Lazy Boy chair to go to the bathroom, took supreme effort and caused mind blowing pain from grinding arthritis in my back, hips, knees, and ankles. I also had heel bone spurs and plantar faciitis so every step was like stepping on an explosive.  That first moment when I would get out of bed in the morning and stand up was so painful I would sometimes have to use my breathing exercises from childbirth to get through it. My high blood pressure, diabetes, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, asthma, and all the rest of my ailments were my reality and I felt completely hopeless to do anything about it.

When I found Cambridge again, my motivation to get started on it was off the charts! I knew from my experience with it 20 years before that it worked and I couldn't wait to get started. My weight loss experience was so dramatic, so life changing, so rewarding, that other then a challenging day here or there, I stuck to my diet like Velcro! I lost that first 120 pounds and felt like I had won the lottery! I wasn't at my goal weight according to the charts, but I was very comfortable where I was at and stayed there for a number of years. My next phase of weight loss was motivated by other life changes. I wanted to enter the dating world and I wanted to have skin removal surgery. For my best results I knew I needed to lose some more so I did and had the surgery. Best decision ever!

A few years later I found my prince and got married, about 2.5 years ago. I have a happy, healthy, active life and I should be content where I am at body wise, but there has been one nagging goal all along in my mind that has eluded me. My high school weight. I'm not sharing numbers because I don't know them. I'm not weighing. I found that the scale was my greatest tormentor and the cause of a lifetime of dieting failure so it's no longer a part of my world. So how will I know? Yes....those high school pants! They are a size 7  and that is in 1970's size which is a lot smaller then 2014's size 7's for some reason. My goal for this year is to get back to my ultimate weight (size) where I felt the best in my life.

My motivation is not as powerful. There is no life saving momentum this time, but I can see the prize and I want it! By shedding the remainder of this weight, I will be shedding the last of the emotions that put it on me. I am 55 and there is no other reason then a deep desire to return to my authentic self. This last amount of weight is attached to that despondent person I was long ago who suffered 2 bad marriages, single motherhood, debilitating health, and endless struggle. It's not attached to the woman I am today so it's gotta go!

Motivation can be a springboard to get you started, but unfortunately without constant attention it can fade and other emotions can crowd it out. If like me, you have lost your weight in stages, you can find it hard to get that energy and enthusiasm up again like you had your first time and may have some false starts and that can fill you with doubt. Your experience will be different this time so you need to approach it in a different way.  Journaling is a great way to keep your head in the game and remind yourself WHY you started. Write your truest feelings about what you want so that when the motivation fades or temptations are all around, you can go to your journal and give yourself a pep-talk with your own words and truth. With the same attention you would give to anything you value most, you can nurture your motivation and not lose sight of what you really want.

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