All Or Nothing

I think "all or nothing" thinking is something most of us can relate to. Trying to figure out what's at the core of it may be different for each person, but it will be the reason for failure for all. No one can be perfect and fortunately,no one needs to be. I learned that the key to succeeding was to get honest with myself and acknowledge the fact that my "all or nothing" thinking was self sabotage. On some level, I was looking for a reason to judge myself and then give up. Instead of taking responsibility for my actions and working to overcome my weaknesses, I used them as an excuse to not keep going.

It went against a lifetime of negative self talk and low self esteem for me to not give up on myself and my diet. I had a few episodes during my weight loss where I lost all control and had a full out binge. I hated myself for it and it fueled my belief that I was hopeless. I recognized the truth that this was my pattern, trying, self sabotaging, hating myself, and giving up. Not too productive! No wonder I never got anywhere.

This time I was determined not to repeat old behaviors. This is what I did when I went off track. Once I became aware of what I was doing, and sometimes that happened after a few bites, or sometimes it didn't happen until the kitchen was empty, I would take a moment and make an effort NOT to begin the emotional self flogging, I would forgive myself, brush off the crumbs, tell myself it never happened and then continue on as if it hadn't. I would have my next scheduled Cambridge meal and continue on. Some may call this denial, but in reality it was a method of healing for me. I was gradually breaking those dysfunctional behaviors and habits, my "all or nothing" thinking.

You are on a journey and it will have twists and turns. Just keep moving forward and see everything as a positive learning experience. No successful person ever practiced perfectionism or "all or nothing" thinking. They practice resiliency.

What Is Your Normal?

Being a person who has struggled with being overweight since toddler-hood, my sense of self was that I was an obese person, like I was made this way. Obese was my "normal". My identity. My destiny. My attempts at weight loss were frequent and varied, but the results were always temporary. The times I spent close to my healthy weight never changed my personal identity. I always knew that all those pounds of fat were waiting in the wings, ready to slam back on me. I was never safe from it, like I was being stalked.

The emotional chaos of never feeling at peace with my body took it's toll in many ways. Every choice and decision I made in life, somehow pivoted from my low self esteem and my knowledge that I would never be good enough.

I could never figure out how other people maneuvered through their lives, seemingly free from the constant anxiety I had with food and body image. Did other people go to school with a burning empty stomach in their attempt to be normal? I would watch my thin friends and try to figure out how they ate so much, so freely, without any guilt or shame. Why weren't my siblings fat? What was wrong with me? Why was I different? Oh..right...obesity is me.. my normal.

I lost my weight on Cambridge 14 years ago. The amount of effort to lose the weight, was nothing compared to the mental work I had to do to change everything I believed about myself and who I was. Instead of seeing my obesity as normal and moments of thinness as temporary, I had to flip that and force myself to believe that my obesity was what had been the deviation from normal. My body had spent 42 years trying to deal with my physical and emotional demands. It hadn't failed me, I had failed it. I may or may not be more prone to weight gain then someone else with different DNA, but that is my reality to accept and to be responsible for.

We all come in to this world with different challenges. There is no standard "normal". Just your own personal story. My story is that for most of my life, I believed a lie. A lie I convinced myself was true. Obesity is not my identity, my destiny, or my curse. I spent my life justifying my poor health and not ever really taking responsibility for it.  I am not that person anymore.

Starting Sole Source Today

I made the decision to jump back on SS for a while to lose the extra pounds I've gained since Oct. We went on vacation and then we had the holidays...well...no explanation needed. My pants are tight and fortunately I have my beloved Cambridge to come to my rescue once again! I just had my first shake for the day, the one I call my "Favorite Blend". I take one full container of 330 Rich Chocolate and mix it in a big Tupperware bowel with a container of 330 Original Dutch Chocolate. This gives me the creamy thick texture of the Rich shake along with the deeper chocolate taste of the Dutch. I add about 1/4 cup of cocoa powder and mix it all together. Voila! Perfection! To make it even more dreamy, I keep a jar of brewed decaf coffee in the fridge and use that along with a couple of ice cubes in place of the water. Now we're talkin'!

So I figure I'm going to give it a couple of weeks and then decide if I want to start adding food back to my diet. I'm looking forward to that wonderful feeling of lightness and clarity that being in ketosis gives. This will be fun!
Cheers!

Why Cambridge Was My Success Story (finally!)

As I have shared before, I spent most of my life, beginning in toddlerhood, on a diet. I was born chubby (9lbs, 3oz) and I was always aware of the fact that I was different from my three thin siblings. Going through life constantly mindful of every bite of food you take and labeling it "good" or "bad" can really mess up any chance of feeling normal.

Going on Weight Watchers at the age of 9 with my mother was my reality. I was the only kid there in a room full of adults. I can't count the number of times we started and stopped that diet. We would lose some weight, and then gain it back...over and over. The meetings and weigh ins were torture. I can remember how labor intensive it was to follow back then with the counting, weighing, measuring, substituting, and generally having to choke down weird tasteless food. Yuck!

Now, many of you may not be old enough to have been on WW in the early days. It was very structured and detailed. I have to give most of the credit to my mom for the amount of work involved since she did the cooking. Once I got older I took over some of the kitchen duty and it was an enormous pain. It took up the whole day, planning meals and special prep work, making sure we had our weekly meals planned including the mandatory servings of liver and fish and veal, etc. I came to the conclusion early in life that dieting makes a person even MORE obsessed with food! Not the result you are looking for when you are already giving way to much of your time and attention to it.

I was poking around on the Internet this morning and came across this article that has the old original WW plan as I remember it from the 60's/70's. Maybe you can see why Cambridge was such a miracle for me and others who were completely burned out on conventional weight loss plans. This is long, but unbelievably and intensely detailed! Not unlike most weight loss plans that have you accounting for each bite of food you take. Cambridge's simplicity is the reason I was finally able to succeed at losing my weight and keeping it off for the past 14 years.

Here is the Weight Watchers original plan. You will be even more grateful for Cambridge. Click on the link below and prepare to be amazed!

http://www.dwlz.com/WWinfo/old1972ww.html