Day 16 of Sole Source (SS)

I decided back on the 15th to get back on SS to lose some weight that I had been accumulating since my vacation back in Oct. My husband and I went down south to the Florida Keys and I was in vacation mode. I pretty much ate whatever he did and while that has no effect on him, for me it was probably more then twice what I would normally consume.  With that and the holidays, I got kind of lax in my dietary habits and some weight had crept on while I was looking the other way. My pants were tight and that's my signal for getting my act together. So, along with a great group of people on my Support Board, ( http://members5.boardhost.com/pam140/ ) I jumped on the SS train and I've been going strong!

I made the decision not to weigh when I started. I didn't want a number to mess with my head and I figured it really didn't matter anyway. In fact, I have not weighed at all! Yes, 16 days and I have absolutely no idea how much I've lost or what I weigh. I'm feeling kind of free because of it! No judge and jury staring up at me from the scale every morning. No number in my head telling me how I should feel about myself and if I was going to have a good day or a bad one. I am stresslessly going about my days knowing that I am doing everything I can possibly do to allow my body to lose the weight. It's a different approach, especially for me since I tend to be a meticulous chart keeper.

About a  year and a half ago I had set a goal to get back to my high school weight by my 56th birthday. Well..I didn't get there.  Now my 57th is just 19 days away. I won't make that goal in 19 days, but I'm determined I will be on my way there!

All Or Nothing

I think "all or nothing" thinking is something most of us can relate to. Trying to figure out what's at the core of it may be different for each person, but it will be the reason for failure for all. No one can be perfect and fortunately,no one needs to be. I learned that the key to succeeding was to get honest with myself and acknowledge the fact that my "all or nothing" thinking was self sabotage. On some level, I was looking for a reason to judge myself and then give up. Instead of taking responsibility for my actions and working to overcome my weaknesses, I used them as an excuse to not keep going.

It went against a lifetime of negative self talk and low self esteem for me to not give up on myself and my diet. I had a few episodes during my weight loss where I lost all control and had a full out binge. I hated myself for it and it fueled my belief that I was hopeless. I recognized the truth that this was my pattern, trying, self sabotaging, hating myself, and giving up. Not too productive! No wonder I never got anywhere.

This time I was determined not to repeat old behaviors. This is what I did when I went off track. Once I became aware of what I was doing, and sometimes that happened after a few bites, or sometimes it didn't happen until the kitchen was empty, I would take a moment and make an effort NOT to begin the emotional self flogging, I would forgive myself, brush off the crumbs, tell myself it never happened and then continue on as if it hadn't. I would have my next scheduled Cambridge meal and continue on. Some may call this denial, but in reality it was a method of healing for me. I was gradually breaking those dysfunctional behaviors and habits, my "all or nothing" thinking.

You are on a journey and it will have twists and turns. Just keep moving forward and see everything as a positive learning experience. No successful person ever practiced perfectionism or "all or nothing" thinking. They practice resiliency.

What Is Your Normal?

Being a person who has struggled with being overweight since toddler-hood, my sense of self was that I was an obese person, like I was made this way. Obese was my "normal". My identity. My destiny. My attempts at weight loss were frequent and varied, but the results were always temporary. The times I spent close to my healthy weight never changed my personal identity. I always knew that all those pounds of fat were waiting in the wings, ready to slam back on me. I was never safe from it, like I was being stalked.

The emotional chaos of never feeling at peace with my body took it's toll in many ways. Every choice and decision I made in life, somehow pivoted from my low self esteem and my knowledge that I would never be good enough.

I could never figure out how other people maneuvered through their lives, seemingly free from the constant anxiety I had with food and body image. Did other people go to school with a burning empty stomach in their attempt to be normal? I would watch my thin friends and try to figure out how they ate so much, so freely, without any guilt or shame. Why weren't my siblings fat? What was wrong with me? Why was I different? Oh..right...obesity is me.. my normal.

I lost my weight on Cambridge 14 years ago. The amount of effort to lose the weight, was nothing compared to the mental work I had to do to change everything I believed about myself and who I was. Instead of seeing my obesity as normal and moments of thinness as temporary, I had to flip that and force myself to believe that my obesity was what had been the deviation from normal. My body had spent 42 years trying to deal with my physical and emotional demands. It hadn't failed me, I had failed it. I may or may not be more prone to weight gain then someone else with different DNA, but that is my reality to accept and to be responsible for.

We all come in to this world with different challenges. There is no standard "normal". Just your own personal story. My story is that for most of my life, I believed a lie. A lie I convinced myself was true. Obesity is not my identity, my destiny, or my curse. I spent my life justifying my poor health and not ever really taking responsibility for it.  I am not that person anymore.

Starting Sole Source Today

I made the decision to jump back on SS for a while to lose the extra pounds I've gained since Oct. We went on vacation and then we had the holidays...well...no explanation needed. My pants are tight and fortunately I have my beloved Cambridge to come to my rescue once again! I just had my first shake for the day, the one I call my "Favorite Blend". I take one full container of 330 Rich Chocolate and mix it in a big Tupperware bowel with a container of 330 Original Dutch Chocolate. This gives me the creamy thick texture of the Rich shake along with the deeper chocolate taste of the Dutch. I add about 1/4 cup of cocoa powder and mix it all together. Voila! Perfection! To make it even more dreamy, I keep a jar of brewed decaf coffee in the fridge and use that along with a couple of ice cubes in place of the water. Now we're talkin'!

So I figure I'm going to give it a couple of weeks and then decide if I want to start adding food back to my diet. I'm looking forward to that wonderful feeling of lightness and clarity that being in ketosis gives. This will be fun!
Cheers!

Welcome to 2017!

Just imagine, one year in to the future. It's Jan 5th, 2017. You wake up and your first thought is, "Wow! Another day in my new life in my slim healthy body that I worked so hard for in 2016!". You know that every sacrifice you made was not a sacrifice at all! it was a gift you gave to yourself. Each time you stumbled, you dragged yourself back up and continued on. Every time you resisted a craving and denied and turned away from all those old behaviors and habits  that kept you imprisoned in your overweight body, it was worth more then you ever could have imagined.

You look back at the choices you made in 2016 and if you could, you would go back and give yourself a big hug and a high five! It was all worth it! Now you are free to move in your body without limitation. You can feel comfortable in the world and not feel as if you don't fit. You can accept those invitations and not stress about what to wear or if you will be able to squeeze in the booth. All those aches and pains you thought were just normal aging are gone. You can shop and buy clothes that flatter and look cute on you, not just because it's the only thing that fit. You can see your actual face, the shape and structure like you may not have seen in a good while...or ever. You can cross your legs and sit in a theater seat with enough room to tuck your purse next to you. You can graciously receive compliments without immediately doubting their sincerity. You can go try new things that you never would have before. You feel attractive and sexy and strong and full of energy.

The only question you ask yourself now is why did you wait so long? Why did you give all your happiness and your vitality for so many years to food? How did you remain lost for so long and so completely unaware of how much of your life you had missed out on? You shake your head and know that while you may regret all that time you could have done better, it is 2017 and that old life is behind you. You look back at 2016 as the year you changed your life.

Did You Know I Have A Facebook Page?

I've posted the link to my Support Board on here before (I think?) but here is is again just in case.

 http://members5.boardhost.com/pam140/ . Please feel free to join in on the conversations there or start one of your own.

What I haven't mentioned is that I also have a Facebook page where I share interesting articles, thoughts, insights, success stories, all sorts of fun facebooky kind of stuff. So go check it out at

 https://www.facebook.com/PamTurnerCambridge/ .

Comment or just post and say "Hi". Be sure to share my page.

Customer Success Story!

This is my customer, Mary Gilmour, who lost 45 pounds! She submitted her story to Cambridge Diet USA and was chosen for the Jan Newsletter that is sent to all Distributors and customers on the emailing list. For her story Cambridge will pay her either $250 cash, or $300 in free product, her choice! Congratulations Mary. You look amazing!