Just completed day 12!

Just wanted to check in. I'm still going strong and feeling good. I have one pair of pants I am wanting to get back down in to. These are my before-Christmas-surgery-eating like a fool pants! They are still not as loose as I like so I will try them again in a few days.

I have been making my Cambridge Oats pancakes each morning and they really stick with me clear through 2pm when I have my lunch shake. If you would like the recipe you can find it on my Support Board on my website, cambridgediet.org . I have been using some unsweetened vanilla almond milk instead of just water, just about 1/4 cup, about 15 calories. With that and the egg white it is only about 32 additional calories for anywhere from 5 to 8, 5" pancakes! The number will depend on the size. This plate shows 4" pancakes. Looks good, right? This morning I added some Watkins Maple flavoring to the batter too. Really good!

Long time, No blogging

Hey everyone! It's been a while since I last wrote anything here. I've had a lot going on in my family that has kept me distracted from my normal life. These past few months have been very challenging for me and as people tend to do, I have been less then on top of things diet wise. I had my gall bladder surgery in Feb and the recovery was not fun, but now I'm feeling good in that regard. But..like some do...I managed to gain some weight post-op. My appetite was on fire and I probably doubled what I normally eat! Well..maybe not double..but enough to put back on the 8 pounds I had lost the week before surgery and probably another 10 on top of that! EEEK!!I also had to put down my much loved cat of 18 years, Mitzie. It was heartbreaking and added to all the other emotional issues going on.

So..now I am ready to get control of things again. I decided to begin Cambridge SS mid-day today. Not tomorrow morning like people typically do. I like to start for Dinner and then that way I get to sleep through a lot of the first 24 hours! Brilliant, right?

In a couple of weeks our pool should be at swimming temp. I am looking forward to having the exercise. But first I have to be able to get in my swim suit so thank goodness for Cambridge! Here is a pic of my beautiful Mitzie. The most wonderful cat in the world. I miss her terribly.

Which Comes First?

It always interests me how the same person can have very different experiences doing the exact same diet at different times. The only thing that changes is the person's mind.

Typically, when we begin any diet, the first thing we do is clean out all the food that may distract us or tempt us. We purge the kitchen (as much as the family will allow) and try to clear the calendar of events where food will be the center focus. We plan our necessary grocery shopping trips and try to avoid those places we may have previously stopped for fast food etc. We structure our environment as best as we can to set ourselves up for success, but we completely forget that while purging the external world of distractions, it is our mind that is the control room of our behavior.

Just as a person purges their living space of distractions, replacing them with healthy alternatives, we need to purge our minds of negative distracting thoughts, replacing them with positive, forward thinking, progressively determined thoughts.

We can't always control our environment, but we can control our reaction to it and that is one of the keys to a successful weight loss, and just as important, a successful maintenance.

Wow! I've Been A Bad Blogger!

I didn't realize it's been so long since I posted to my blog. I've been focusing more on my Cambridge Facebook page, (link below) and my Support Board you can find on my website. Sorry for neglecting my readers here!

I'm actually SSing again at the moment. I typically do this whenever I find that a few pounds have crept back on and this is one of those times. My husband just retired and the month leading up to it was a stressful one getting finances in order, etc. We both did a little stress eating, (well..me a little, him a LOT!) and we made a mutual commitment to get back to healthy eating.  His job has been extremely stressful, but especially this past year and he probably put on 20 pounds. Not good for someone who already had a triple bypass 5 years ago. He's doing low carb and I am on my much loved Cambridge, day 3.

I'm feeling great and already feel like my body is rewarding me for no longer eating carelessly. My energy is up and my clothes are already fitting better. Got to get back in to my swimsuits soon! The weather is warming up and so is the pool!

Cambridge Diet Face Book Page

What Is Your Normal?

Being a person who has struggled with being overweight since toddler-hood, my sense of self was that I was an obese person, like I was made this way. Obese was my "normal". My identity. My destiny. My attempts at weight loss were frequent and varied, but the results were always temporary. The times I spent close to my healthy weight never changed my personal identity. I always knew that all those pounds of fat were waiting in the wings, ready to slam back on me. I was never safe from it, like I was being stalked.

The emotional chaos of never feeling at peace with my body took it's toll in many ways. Every choice and decision I made in life, somehow pivoted from my low self esteem and my knowledge that I would never be good enough.

I could never figure out how other people maneuvered through their lives, seemingly free from the constant anxiety I had with food and body image. Did other people go to school with a burning empty stomach in their attempt to be normal? I would watch my thin friends and try to figure out how they ate so much, so freely, without any guilt or shame. Why weren't my siblings fat? What was wrong with me? Why was I different? Oh..right...obesity is me.. my normal.

I lost my weight on Cambridge 14 years ago. The amount of effort to lose the weight, was nothing compared to the mental work I had to do to change everything I believed about myself and who I was. Instead of seeing my obesity as normal and moments of thinness as temporary, I had to flip that and force myself to believe that my obesity was what had been the deviation from normal. My body had spent 42 years trying to deal with my physical and emotional demands. It hadn't failed me, I had failed it. I may or may not be more prone to weight gain then someone else with different DNA, but that is my reality to accept and to be responsible for.

We all come in to this world with different challenges. There is no standard "normal". Just your own personal story. My story is that for most of my life, I believed a lie. A lie I convinced myself was true. Obesity is not my identity, my destiny, or my curse. I spent my life justifying my poor health and not ever really taking responsibility for it.  I am not that person anymore.

Starting Sole Source Today

I made the decision to jump back on SS for a while to lose the extra pounds I've gained since Oct. We went on vacation and then we had the holidays...well...no explanation needed. My pants are tight and fortunately I have my beloved Cambridge to come to my rescue once again! I just had my first shake for the day, the one I call my "Favorite Blend". I take one full container of 330 Rich Chocolate and mix it in a big Tupperware bowel with a container of 330 Original Dutch Chocolate. This gives me the creamy thick texture of the Rich shake along with the deeper chocolate taste of the Dutch. I add about 1/4 cup of cocoa powder and mix it all together. Voila! Perfection! To make it even more dreamy, I keep a jar of brewed decaf coffee in the fridge and use that along with a couple of ice cubes in place of the water. Now we're talkin'!

So I figure I'm going to give it a couple of weeks and then decide if I want to start adding food back to my diet. I'm looking forward to that wonderful feeling of lightness and clarity that being in ketosis gives. This will be fun!
Cheers!

Maintenance?

Like most, I have lost and gained the same weight so many times over my life that I could never put a number to it. The gaining part took no effort what so ever. The losing part seemed like endless sacrifice. Maintenance? Hmm...now that was an interesting concept. From childhood on I was either losing or gaining...never maintaining. My body didn't do maintenance. Dieting=weight loss. Eating=weight gain. Those were the two options. 

So needless to say, these past 15 years of figuring out how to not gain the 120+ pounds I had lost back.. has been as labor intensive as anything I did to get here. My body is so prone to weight gain that for me, maintenance requires vigilance and effort. I wish I could say that my body was "healed" from being a fat storing machine, but that wouldn't be true. If I deviate from my normal controlled eating plan for more then an occasional meal now and then, I will gain. If I take a break for a week and  eat like everyone else around me is eating, including people who are not overweight, I will gain. And it's not necessarily the calorie count that is the issue, but the food itself that will cause the weight gain. 

Grain based foods and sugar are the welcome mat in front of my fat cells. My insulin spikes and every calorie gets locked away like squirrels storing nuts for the winter.  On top of that, eating them also awakens the sleeping beast that is appetite and hunger. Uncontrolled type 2 diabetics can have a voracious appetite that is beyond anything imaginable. As far as you body is concerned, it is starving, no matter how much you consume. Obesity is the natural result.  

It is my JOB to be mindful of the food I consume and I know that each choice comes with consequence for me, good or bad. Because I am diabetic, I have a built in alarm system that fires if I go astray for more then the occasional deviation from my normal diet. I will feel like crap! I keep my blood sugar and insulin levels under control with lifestyle choices, but when I choose something different, BAM! Diabetic Pam!  

It frustrates me to accept the fact that I will never be"normal", whatever that is. I'm still not sure how "normal" people go about their lives. Do they just naturally run checks and balances in their heads constantly to keep their weight and health on track? I know that's how I live now. I generally know the caloric and nutritional value of everything I put in my mouth and I keep a running tally in my head. I see other people eating breads and sugary deserts and know that I can't have it. Let me rephrase that, I choose not to have it. Do I want it? You know I do, but if I want to stay on this planet with all my original parts and be healthy, I have to say "No". That is maintenance for me.

Life, Stress, Choices, Challenges

Dieting is hard, even under the best of circumstances, but outside stress pushes every button an emotional eater has. Without an alternative therapeutic release valve on your stress, it can turn in to an emotional battle ground which of course...creates more stress. For whatever reason, we turned to food as our coping tool. Other people turn to more positive outlets like music, exercise, hobbies, or any number of options. There are alternatives out there for each one of us. The challenge is to discover what yours is.

In a typical persons life they will be touched by all sorts of difficult things that are overwhelming and seem insurmountable, but for the most part, we get through and we go one. We may be changed, hopefully for the better, but we do go on. I have always told my kids that "You can get over pretty much anything". That probably sounds insensitive, but if it were not true, then why even try? I based this theory on my own personal experiences and heartbreaks. Deaths, divorces, addictions, poverty, homelessness, chronic illness, physical/emotional abuse..yeah..I can tick all those boxes whether in my own life or in one of my children's lives. And yet, time goes on and we do too.

We may not have the power to change other people, but we do have the power to change ourselves and the direction we choose to take. Obesity doesn't happen "to" us. It happens "because" of us. That's the good news! We are the creators of our current physical state, good or bad. We can be the designers of our new and improved physicality as well.

Never underestimate you ability to change.