Day 3.5 and "Recalculating"

I'm excited to be back on track. I already feel so much better then I did a week ago. Cambridge never fails me! As long as I keep my mind focused on what I want to accomplish, I will certainly be able to achieve it.

While I have for the most part maintained my weight loss of 16 years ago, I find that as I get older I have to work a little harder to feel my best and not let the pounds creep back on. This gall bladder surgery I had in Feb took me on a detour that I am now "recalculating" as the GPS lady would say.

For some reason I was incredibly hungry for about a month after surgery. It had been years since I experienced hunger so this was unexpected. The zombie gall bladder that I had been living with had completely killed my appetite for a long time and eating had become just something required, but not enjoyed. Well...that changed! lol! I have to admit I embraced feeling alive again and found that having an appetite can be a wonderful thing, but of course it also must be controlled. I did gain some weight, but enjoyed it greatly! Now I am feeling more normal appetite wise and this was a good time to get back to mindful living.

Maintaining a healthy body and weight is a job. One that you can take a vacation from periodically, but eventually you have to go back to work. The paycheck is feeling great and fully engaged in life. Being addicted to food or compulsive eating behaviors separates you from your best life. It becomes the thing before all other things that you think about. That's not living!

Research On Biggest Loser Contestants

The research that has been done with cast members of season 8 "Biggest Loser" has been interesting to say the least. Scientists followed 14 of the 16 contestants of the Biggest Loser for 6 years to try and understand why all but one of them gained the weight back, some even heavier then they were before the show. Their findings support what the obese community has known all along. The over simplification of "eat less, move more" and you will be thin is contrary to what was found. Also, the concept of the metabolism slowing down is being clarified.

It's valuable for dieters to understand going in to weight loss what their long term lifestyle will be to maintain it. It's also time we stop body shaming people who lose and then regain their weight. It's like shaming someone for limping after breaking their leg. Science has proven that for many, if not most of successful dieters, our metabolisms remain compromised and it is up to us to find that delicate balance of nutrition, activity, and acceptance of our circumstances to maintain a healthy weight, mind, and body.

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/video/biggest-loser-contestants-open-continuing-061725406.html

Which Comes First?

It always interests me how the same person can have very different experiences doing the exact same diet at different times. The only thing that changes is the person's mind.

Typically, when we begin any diet, the first thing we do is clean out all the food that may distract us or tempt us. We purge the kitchen (as much as the family will allow) and try to clear the calendar of events where food will be the center focus. We plan our necessary grocery shopping trips and try to avoid those places we may have previously stopped for fast food etc. We structure our environment as best as we can to set ourselves up for success, but we completely forget that while purging the external world of distractions, it is our mind that is the control room of our behavior.

Just as a person purges their living space of distractions, replacing them with healthy alternatives, we need to purge our minds of negative distracting thoughts, replacing them with positive, forward thinking, progressively determined thoughts.

We can't always control our environment, but we can control our reaction to it and that is one of the keys to a successful weight loss, and just as important, a successful maintenance.

Maintenance?

Like most, I have lost and gained the same weight so many times over my life that I could never put a number to it. The gaining part took no effort what so ever. The losing part seemed like endless sacrifice. Maintenance? Hmm...now that was an interesting concept. From childhood on I was either losing or gaining...never maintaining. My body didn't do maintenance. Dieting=weight loss. Eating=weight gain. Those were the two options. 

So needless to say, these past 15 years of figuring out how to not gain the 120+ pounds I had lost back.. has been as labor intensive as anything I did to get here. My body is so prone to weight gain that for me, maintenance requires vigilance and effort. I wish I could say that my body was "healed" from being a fat storing machine, but that wouldn't be true. If I deviate from my normal controlled eating plan for more then an occasional meal now and then, I will gain. If I take a break for a week and  eat like everyone else around me is eating, including people who are not overweight, I will gain. And it's not necessarily the calorie count that is the issue, but the food itself that will cause the weight gain. 

Grain based foods and sugar are the welcome mat in front of my fat cells. My insulin spikes and every calorie gets locked away like squirrels storing nuts for the winter.  On top of that, eating them also awakens the sleeping beast that is appetite and hunger. Uncontrolled type 2 diabetics can have a voracious appetite that is beyond anything imaginable. As far as you body is concerned, it is starving, no matter how much you consume. Obesity is the natural result.  

It is my JOB to be mindful of the food I consume and I know that each choice comes with consequence for me, good or bad. Because I am diabetic, I have a built in alarm system that fires if I go astray for more then the occasional deviation from my normal diet. I will feel like crap! I keep my blood sugar and insulin levels under control with lifestyle choices, but when I choose something different, BAM! Diabetic Pam!  

It frustrates me to accept the fact that I will never be"normal", whatever that is. I'm still not sure how "normal" people go about their lives. Do they just naturally run checks and balances in their heads constantly to keep their weight and health on track? I know that's how I live now. I generally know the caloric and nutritional value of everything I put in my mouth and I keep a running tally in my head. I see other people eating breads and sugary deserts and know that I can't have it. Let me rephrase that, I choose not to have it. Do I want it? You know I do, but if I want to stay on this planet with all my original parts and be healthy, I have to say "No". That is maintenance for me.