Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

The title of a David Bowie song that I sang to Andy this morning. It seemed appropriate. He had gotten in to a habit of resting his hands on the top of his belly like a 9 month pregnant women while sitting on the couch. He plopped down this morning and out of habit he put his hands on what used to be his belly and they fell to his lap. He looked so surprised that it made me laugh! I handed him a pillow and told him it was his prosthetic tummy. (lol)

My changes are also noticeable. No more "chub rub" as my daughter calls it when your thighs rub together while walking. I noticed that stopped a few weeks ago and it almost made it seem as though my legs had gotten longer! Other changes are happening and most of them are good. I do notice that some things are getting looser and wobblier, but that's to be expected I guess. Small price to pay. With the additions I add to my 3 Cambridges each day (eggwhite, almond milk, coffee creamer, some green veg like spinach or cabbage) I am in a good weight loss pattern that is comfortable and satisfying. I am confident I will reach my goal.

I know it's a struggle to lose weight. I know we fight mental battles and get discouraged or feel like we just can't change...but we can! Of course we can! Just as you are not the same person you were 5, 10, or 20 years ago, you can be a different, better version of yourself beginning right now. Andy gave up the first time he tried Cambridge. He absolutely fell apart and had an emotional breakdown and was sure he was going to die! lol! Seriously....no joke. It was his mind set that made the difference. He got those bad blood work reports and had a change of heart. The second attempt was made with a purpose and determination that he was not going to neglect his health and risk a recurrence of vascular disease that had resulted in a triple heart bypass 6 years ago. Never underestimate your ability to change!

Changes And Challenges

If there's one thing that life teaches us.. it's that it happens while we are busy making plans.

We come to the beginning of our Cambridge journey with a common plan, to lose the weight and get healthy. We have no way of knowing what twists and turns our life may take along the way, and it can get pretty twisted at times! When you consider all that is required of us to succeed at this, it is not unlike a master juggler keeping all his objects in the air, even if the floor tilts or someone tosses in a few more items to the mix. It's no small task and requires a whole new collection of skills and practice.

Typically, when faced with challenges, we would self medicate with food and ignore a lot of the emotional and physical issues we are dealing with. "Drug of choice" and all that. Being stripped of that coping tool can cause some panic with the realization of how dependent we have become on comfort eating, or how much in denial we may be about our personal struggles. While you may have been prepared for the physical demands of being on a restricted diet, you probably were caught unprepared for the emotional ones.

As you begin, (or continue) your Cambridge experience, go in to it knowing that at times you will be required to face emotions you may want to pacify with food, or you may suddenly be faced with a health crisis that you will want to escape from temporarily by self medicating in the same way. These old habits and behaviors need to be removed from your arsenal of coping tools. Finding their replacement is part of the goal when changes and challenges come your way.

Welcome to 2017!

Just imagine, one year in to the future. It's Jan 5th, 2017. You wake up and your first thought is, "Wow! Another day in my new life in my slim healthy body that I worked so hard for in 2016!". You know that every sacrifice you made was not a sacrifice at all! it was a gift you gave to yourself. Each time you stumbled, you dragged yourself back up and continued on. Every time you resisted a craving and denied and turned away from all those old behaviors and habits  that kept you imprisoned in your overweight body, it was worth more then you ever could have imagined.

You look back at the choices you made in 2016 and if you could, you would go back and give yourself a big hug and a high five! It was all worth it! Now you are free to move in your body without limitation. You can feel comfortable in the world and not feel as if you don't fit. You can accept those invitations and not stress about what to wear or if you will be able to squeeze in the booth. All those aches and pains you thought were just normal aging are gone. You can shop and buy clothes that flatter and look cute on you, not just because it's the only thing that fit. You can see your actual face, the shape and structure like you may not have seen in a good while...or ever. You can cross your legs and sit in a theater seat with enough room to tuck your purse next to you. You can graciously receive compliments without immediately doubting their sincerity. You can go try new things that you never would have before. You feel attractive and sexy and strong and full of energy.

The only question you ask yourself now is why did you wait so long? Why did you give all your happiness and your vitality for so many years to food? How did you remain lost for so long and so completely unaware of how much of your life you had missed out on? You shake your head and know that while you may regret all that time you could have done better, it is 2017 and that old life is behind you. You look back at 2016 as the year you changed your life.

Maintenance?

Like most, I have lost and gained the same weight so many times over my life that I could never put a number to it. The gaining part took no effort what so ever. The losing part seemed like endless sacrifice. Maintenance? Hmm...now that was an interesting concept. From childhood on I was either losing or gaining...never maintaining. My body didn't do maintenance. Dieting=weight loss. Eating=weight gain. Those were the two options. 

So needless to say, these past 15 years of figuring out how to not gain the 120+ pounds I had lost back.. has been as labor intensive as anything I did to get here. My body is so prone to weight gain that for me, maintenance requires vigilance and effort. I wish I could say that my body was "healed" from being a fat storing machine, but that wouldn't be true. If I deviate from my normal controlled eating plan for more then an occasional meal now and then, I will gain. If I take a break for a week and  eat like everyone else around me is eating, including people who are not overweight, I will gain. And it's not necessarily the calorie count that is the issue, but the food itself that will cause the weight gain. 

Grain based foods and sugar are the welcome mat in front of my fat cells. My insulin spikes and every calorie gets locked away like squirrels storing nuts for the winter.  On top of that, eating them also awakens the sleeping beast that is appetite and hunger. Uncontrolled type 2 diabetics can have a voracious appetite that is beyond anything imaginable. As far as you body is concerned, it is starving, no matter how much you consume. Obesity is the natural result.  

It is my JOB to be mindful of the food I consume and I know that each choice comes with consequence for me, good or bad. Because I am diabetic, I have a built in alarm system that fires if I go astray for more then the occasional deviation from my normal diet. I will feel like crap! I keep my blood sugar and insulin levels under control with lifestyle choices, but when I choose something different, BAM! Diabetic Pam!  

It frustrates me to accept the fact that I will never be"normal", whatever that is. I'm still not sure how "normal" people go about their lives. Do they just naturally run checks and balances in their heads constantly to keep their weight and health on track? I know that's how I live now. I generally know the caloric and nutritional value of everything I put in my mouth and I keep a running tally in my head. I see other people eating breads and sugary deserts and know that I can't have it. Let me rephrase that, I choose not to have it. Do I want it? You know I do, but if I want to stay on this planet with all my original parts and be healthy, I have to say "No". That is maintenance for me.

Standing Strong

So here we are at the gates of the annual "Binge Eating Ball". Everywhere you look from now until New Years it is nonstop over-indulgence in food and drink. We feel entitled to join in and for the next month,  we want to be part of the party. We want our traditional foods and we don't want to be the one standing against the wall while everyone else is mindlessly celebrating without a care. For people in the process of weight loss, it can be a complete derailment and an undoing of all your hard work.

I dread this time of year, every year. Not for myself, but for all my clients that will be struggling with the frustration of wanting to stay on their plan, but feeling overwhelmed and overpowered with all the pressure to eat, drink, and be merry. You may not be diabetic or have some other known health issue that influences the choices you make like I do, but we all desire quality of life. That means different things to different people. For some, it means doing whatever you want and paying the consequences which can be poor health, pain, or even death. For others like me, it means doing my best to support my body and accept it's special requirements and not feel deprived, but empowered by my choices. We each have our own reality to deal with and choices to be made. Stand strong and make yours based on your own best interests, not on the influences of others.

Life, Stress, Choices, Challenges

Dieting is hard, even under the best of circumstances, but outside stress pushes every button an emotional eater has. Without an alternative therapeutic release valve on your stress, it can turn in to an emotional battle ground which of course...creates more stress. For whatever reason, we turned to food as our coping tool. Other people turn to more positive outlets like music, exercise, hobbies, or any number of options. There are alternatives out there for each one of us. The challenge is to discover what yours is.

In a typical persons life they will be touched by all sorts of difficult things that are overwhelming and seem insurmountable, but for the most part, we get through and we go one. We may be changed, hopefully for the better, but we do go on. I have always told my kids that "You can get over pretty much anything". That probably sounds insensitive, but if it were not true, then why even try? I based this theory on my own personal experiences and heartbreaks. Deaths, divorces, addictions, poverty, homelessness, chronic illness, physical/emotional abuse..yeah..I can tick all those boxes whether in my own life or in one of my children's lives. And yet, time goes on and we do too.

We may not have the power to change other people, but we do have the power to change ourselves and the direction we choose to take. Obesity doesn't happen "to" us. It happens "because" of us. That's the good news! We are the creators of our current physical state, good or bad. We can be the designers of our new and improved physicality as well.

Never underestimate you ability to change.