Thanksgiving Is Over...

Good Question! We made it through Thanksgiving. Some of us were able to stick to our plan, some of us went off the deep end, but all of us look forward to a better future so no looking back! Tomorrow is December 1st. 2014  is almost over. We have a few weeks to either make excuses, or make progress before the New Year begins. 

A Thanksgiving Poem I wrote for my Support Board

It's the night before Thanksgiving
And all through the board
Not a dieter was posting
Not one single word

The blenders are quiet
The posters are too
I had good intentions
But what's a dieter to do?

The family is here
The whole country is cooking
I so badly want to sample
When no one is looking

My head starts to spin
My heart starts to pound
My commitment to diet
Is nowhere to be found.

I know what to do
I know what is best
I know I'm important
But temptation's a pest

When Thanksgiving is over
And Friday begins
I want to count pounds lost
Instead of my sins

So take THAT you stuffed turkey!
Away with you food
My health's more important
I choose  to do good!

Whatever your plan
Whatever you choose
Keep your best interest in mind
And you will not lose!

(except pounds of course!)

Happy Thanksgiving !

Day 90 Of My 99 Day Cambridge Diet Challenge

I am on my 10th day of Sole Source (SS) for my 99 Day Ultimate Goal. So far I have been pretty much 100%. I did have a few bites of stew the other day and last night some chicken breast, but other then that I've been on track. With Thanksgiving looming in 5 more days I need to make this time count. I am planning on having a meal with my family and then getting right back to the business of losing.

I still cook every day for my husband and I actually don't mind at all. In fact, I enjoy it. I'm very careful about taste testing for seasonings and all. It can be hard to cook like I do. I never use recipes and normally go completely by taste, but that can get you in trouble. Sometimes by the time I had dinner all prepared for him, I felt like I had already eaten! I'd still go ahead and eat with him though. No need to wonder why I had put on a few pounds since we got married.

So I'm chugging along and feeling good. If anyone reading this is also SSing until Thanksgiving and then planning on taking a break and eating, just keep in mind that your stomach has adjusted to your very low volume diet and will not be producing all the digestive enzymes and acids it normally would while eating a full food diet. You will be in a world of hurt and feeling pretty horrible if you overdo it...and let's face it... overdoing it is pretty much the definition of Thanksgiving. Be prepared and get some good Digestive Enzymes to take with your meal. Your local Health Food store should have a good variety. Choose one that has a long list of specific enzymes that break down all forms of food, not just something like papaya extract. You'll be thanking me later!

Persistence, Not Perfection. An Emotional Healing

While on Cambridge, we all hope for perfection. We strive to stick to our diet without any detours or derailments. Unfortunately, it's not realistic to think we can isolate ourselves throughout the entire process of losing our weight. Success with Cambridge is not about perfection. It's about persistence. "All or nothing" thinking gets many of us in to a never ending loop of starting and stopping our diets. It reinforces thoughts of failure which only makes us feel hopeless and we give up once again.

There's always going to be something that comes up that will involve food somehow. That's just life. For example, lets say you have friends or family come in to town unexpectedly and  the decision is made for everyone to go out to eat. You don't want to be "that" person that lessens everyone else's experience by staying home or just sitting there with a diet soda while the rest of the table eats uncomfortably around you. What do you do?  Do you just dive in and go for it, using this as the perfect excuse to eat yourself under the table? Or, do you practice some good eating choices? We only have a problem if we continue to use normal every day activities and events as an excuse to binge and indulge our food addictions. If you eat like a health minded person, then that is a success! It's progress of the best kind. You are reinforcing your new lifestyle choices and will be in the proper state of mind to resume your Cambridge without it triggering an emotionally charged binge.

Eating food is not the problem. The emotions we nurture when we eat food are! The bargaining and excuses and justifying...these are the problem. They stir the pot of compulsive behavior and pretty soon, it boils over.

When given the unavoidable opportunity to practice good eating choices, take it as part of your recovery and make a point of detaching emotions from the event. Use it to your benefit as a chance to prove to yourself that you can keep food in it's proper perspective. That's not easy in our food obsessed culture. What other time in our history has food played such a obsessive central roll in our every day lives? TV shows and entire networks are devoted to it. The once common job of cooking for a living has become celebrity status. Restaurants and even food trucks clamber for cult like followings. Even home cooks are now endlessly striving for show stopper meals they see displayed on Pinterest and other social media. It used to be we just had to try to compete with Martha Stewart. Now we're all supposed to BE Martha Stewart!

You want to be free. The goal should not only be about being a certain size, shape, or weight. It should not only be about looking better for an event or a deadline. We all want to be free from this thing that our lives currently revolve around...our eating disorders. We all need an emotional mental healing. Only then will our bodies be able to do the work to heal us physically. We can't observe this healing from viewing X-Rays or stitches or any other tangible evidence of recovery. We have to be tuned in to our thoughts at all times and be willing to abort those that do us harm. A peaceful co-existence between our mind and our body, one nurturing the other.

Quick Hello

Hey readers. I just wanted to check in with a progress report. I'm on my third day of my 99 day challenge and so far, so good. Last night was a little rocky. I was pretty hungry and really had to keep the mental pep talk going. I normally don't experience hunger anymore, even when SSing so this is new. I have to admit that my diet of late has been a lot sloppier then normal so that is likely why. Paying the piper I guess!

Today is better. My tummy is a little growley still, but it's lunch time anyway so that's ok. I'm am experiencing a slight metallic taste in my mouth so I guess I am going in to ketosis which should take care of the hunger. My energy is great today and I feel better overall so this is progress! Tomorrow will be a good day.

I'm not weighing right now. I decided that for my first month I will stay off the scale. I will have my first weigh in Dec 12th. I have a pretty good idea of my starting weight already. I'm not focusing on the day to day numbers. Once a month weigh ins will be right for me.

So day 97 of my 99 day countdown is going well. Anyone joining me?

99 days

There are 99 days until my 56th birthday. My (ultimate) goal this year was to be at my high school weight by then. I've made a few half heart'd stabs at it, but I just couldn't stay focused for the long haul. This goal is important to me, both for my health, as well as my sense of accomplishment.

Being married now has put a whole new spin on things. Before I was married, when I would have clients complain about their spouses being a distraction by wanting them to go out to eat or by bringing food home, I never understood the real problem like I do now. By being on a highly restricted diet like Cambridge, you're pretty much demanding that your significant other be on restriction with you, to a certain extent. When my husband has his 3 day weekend, he likes to go exploring, mostly day trips.  We are still newbies here in Florida and there is a lot to see. Being out all day kind of makes it necessary to eat at some point. My husband has a healthy appetite and can eat a full meal and be ready to eat again in an hour! He has no weight problem of course. I know how hard he works and on his days off I don't want to be a party pooper. He won't eat in front of me. He just can't make himself go against the way his Mama raised him. This then condemns him to starving and when he gets hungry, he gets really wobbly, really fast! On top of that, he loves to eat and wants to enjoy that with me. Nothing wrong with that of course.

So here's the problem....I need to do this, but I hate forcing him to limit his recreation on his hard earned days off. He needs that time to decompress and gear up for another miserable week in the Walmart Claims Dept. I've been going 'round and 'round about this for some time now. I get going on my diet, only to feel guilty and go off so he and I can enjoy our time together. Now to be clear, he in no way EVER complains, but he also won't eat if I don't. He's also perfectly happy with the size I am at now and doesn't think I need to lose, other then to improve my health of course.

When I realized last night that I only had 99 days remaining till my B-day, I made the decision that no matter what, I'm sticking to my Cambridge until I either reach my goal, or the 99 days are up. At the age I'm at now, along with my history of diabetes, my digestion is very slow. It's called "delayed gastric emptying" and it makes it so my body has plenty of time to absorb every single calorie. I lose about half as fast as I did 13 years ago, so this will take some uninterrupted time. I printed up three, 100 day countdown charts. I have one on the fridge, one on my bathroom mirror, and one right here in front of me on top of my computer. I will cross off the bathroom one in the AM when I get up, the fridge one after my lunch shake, and my computer one at night before going to bed. I told my husband what I'm doing and he is of course supportive, but I am well aware of the toll it will take on him and I kind of hate that. I am also doing this at the worst possible time with Thanksgiving looming and then of course, Christmas.

If anyone would like to get in on my 99 days SS, please do! I will be posting updates weekly. You can use the comments and I would love to have you along for the adventure!

Wish my luck!

Learned Helplessness

When an athlete has an injury, lets say a runner breaks their leg, and they go through a time of recovery with a cast and crutches or whatever apparatus is required, they have to relearn how to get around and compensate for being off balance with whatever they are forced to drag around. Eventually they get the cast removed and even though they may have spent their entire life up until that injury being a runner, they will have to relearn how to walk normally again. They have learned not to trust that limb, the muscles have atrophied so it feels weak, they have gotten used to their lop sided gait and can't remember how to move smoothly and without thinking about it and it may feel like they will never be back to normal again. Running feels awkward and stilted. It is a learned behavior and the only way to get past it is to challenge it and push through, maybe by using visualization to reboot the mind and muscle memory to once again run freely. Physical therapy can assist the person in relearning to depend on that limb and eventually the recovery is complete.

My point is that we are all susceptible to false beliefs. This can be due to learned conditioning as in the broken limb, or in our self belief based on past experiences and input from others. It makes sense that if you fail at something, you have one of two options. Give up or try again. If you try again and fail it begins to alter your thinking and weakens your confidence until you lose hope in your ability to do any better. You may try again, only this time you go in expecting to fail. Like the broken leg, if every time you try to walk again you fell, how many times would you get back up before fearing failure, possibly not even trying so hard with each attempt. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Most of us have a history of dieting and disappointment. We flog ourselves emotionally with each failure and our self esteem gets chipped away with each attempt. Gradually we come to believe that obesity is our destiny and that the most we can hope for is to keep it under control with periodic efforts at weight loss. We no longer consider ourselves "normal" by the world's standards and our fear of failure is ever present, sometimes to the point of self sabotage without even being aware of it.

Cambridge is a good apparatus to support your body during it's healing from obesity. It can only address the physical need. The emotional mindset of what you believe about yourself and your ability to accomplish your goal is 100% on you. Cambridge can serve as your "physical therapist", but not as your emotional one. There is only so much support you can get from others, or that I can offer one on one to you individually. There is no escaping the fact that at some point, we much deal with ourselves and our issues and do the work to heal them. We can't blame anyone or anything for our situation, nor can we hold others responsible for our successes or failures. You have to force yourself to override the ingrained thinking that continually trips you up and causes you to accept less from yourself then you are truly capable of. It won't be comfortable or seem natural, but it has to happen. You have to believe in yourself and be willing to say "no" just as you would to a tantruming child. No bargaining or justifying. You have to understand that your thinking is the illness and the obesity is the symptom. You can't cure illness by treating symptoms.

Your mindset or concept of self is the core of your issues with food and weight. It is what will propel you forward or hold you back. I learned that if I changed my thinking, I could change my perception of my world and how I experienced it. Once I truly understood my potential to change what I didn't like about how I was living, it opened up doors I never understood I had barricaded. It was a revelation to say the least and I still marvel at it. Cambridge unlocked the door for me, but I had to be brave enough to go through it and see what was on the other side. Fortunately, the other side is wonderful!