When I was at my heaviest I had an experience that has stuck with me all these years. I want to share it with you. I had a bad tooth. I had procrastinated going in to the dentist (don't we all?) and finally had to accept the fact that I needed to go in when one of my molars cracked while eating a hot dog bun! As I sat in the dentist chair he began to look around in my mouth and I could tell from his face that it wasn't going to be good news. He told me that I had cavities in my two top front teeth! I was shocked when he told me that. He then asked me a question I will never forget. As he held up the mirror and started showing me the holes in my front teeth he asked me, "Don't you ever look in the mirror?" I realized that the answer to his question was "no". I had avoided my reflection for so long that I had actually not noticed holes in my teeth. It goes without saying that I obviously had not been smiling at myself when I did look! I was so ashamed. He held up the mirror to show me my teeth, but what he showed me was my pain. To this day I still struggle with the fillings I have had to replace half a dozen times in those teeth because they don't hold very well. A little reminder for me.
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Showing posts with label turner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label turner. Show all posts
Monday, October 13, 2014
Reflections
When you looked in the mirror this morning, what did you see? Where you pleased with your reflection, or did you spend 5 to 10 minutes focused on all your flaws...weight being the main one? Maybe you didn't look at all.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Promises, promises
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 10/07/14:
We've all seen infomercials, commercials, and magazine ads promising phenomenal weight loss results with "No change in eating" or "Eat all you want!"...all sorts of promises with little to no sacrifice on the behalf of the dieter. We want to believe! We wait for that magic pill! We buy in to that "All you can eat" diet that will free us from counting calories! For many people, surgery makes those golden promises and we willingly go under anesthesia and the knife.
What we find is that regardless of the promise, there is no magic. There is nothing to save us from ourselves. Most ads have disclaimers in very fine print and we can't be bothered to pause the TV to read it all. Besides, we all know disclaimers are only there to appease the media source and protect them from lawsuits anyway. In fact, I was just required from the company I have been with for my advertising for 11 years now, to reword all my text on my website so as not to be stating Cambridge can give "rapid" or "fast" results (even though it is true) or that you can lose X amount of pounds in X amount of days. So in other words, they are requiring me to remove all the truth on my website and replace it with vague statements. I was required to place those annoying disclaimers everywhere saying that "results may vary" etc. Nonsense...all of it. Nonsense to those advertisers of products that promise false misleading results and cover their backsides with disclaimers, and nonsense to an advertising company requiring me to remove the truth of my own personal experience and documented scientific clinical results and research.
People have a right to know what they are buying and putting in their body. I agree. I do my best to represent this product, The Cambridge Diet, as truthfully and factually as I possibly can. I do that because I believe in it from personal experience and success along my deep desire to help others do the same.
Cambridge has proven its self over 35 years and there is no need to exaggerate results or what people can expect when using it. I averaged a pound a day loss when I was on it for a total of 120 pounds in less then 6 months initially, and then another 40 pounds some years later. It happened and I have no intention of saying otherwise to pacify an advertising company's fear of lawsuits.
I can't promise anyone what their experience will be because it totally depends on the individual and whether they stick to the diet or not. I can promise that with Cambridge you will get the best and most rapid (yes, I used that word!) results that your body can give you if you follow it correctly.
Oct, Nov, Dec...Oh, The Holidays!
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 10/07/14:
Well, here we are again. The beginning of the Holiday season. For most people that starts in Oct with Halloween. Granted, Halloween is all the way at the end of the month, but depending on what stage of life you are at, it can mean a whole month of school activities and parties or just a lot of candy laying around the office. Heaven knows the stores are LOADED with candy displays and just going grocery shopping can be overwhelming.
Every year I have clients that are going great guns on their weight loss, only to trip and fall when the challenges of this time of year get to be too much. The only way to get through it is to make up your mind that this time, you are going to make different choices then you have before. The remaining months of 2014 (can you believe that?) are completely under your control as far as the what you choose to eat or not. I think at times we actually justify what we eat by telling ourselves we are powerless over the food temptations. How crazy is that? We haven't been force fed anything since we were on baby food!
Yes, we have Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas and then New Years. All plenty of reasons to procrastinate doing anything about our weight until it's over. No one likes to feel left out or deprived of the celebrating, but how often has your weight interfered with you living your best life? How often have you felt deprived of an opportunity because of your weight? How often have you made an excuse not to do something that you worried would embarrass you and how often have you said "No" to food offered because you didn't want people to see you eating? All various forms of self deprivation, isn't it? And that just leaves you feeling frustrated because nothing was really accomplished.
The thought of beginning a diet this time of year may seem like poor timing, and for most conventional diets I would agree. Why suffer for only a few pounds lost? The good news is that The Cambridge Diet allows you to make a HUGE amount of progress in a very short amount of time. Between now and the new year, you could potentially lose 50, 60, even 70 pounds! We have 85 days from today until 2015. You can spend those days knowing that by the New Year you will be slimmer and healthier then you are now...or not. Jan 1st will come either way and it's up to you how you welcome the New Year.
Well, here we are again. The beginning of the Holiday season. For most people that starts in Oct with Halloween. Granted, Halloween is all the way at the end of the month, but depending on what stage of life you are at, it can mean a whole month of school activities and parties or just a lot of candy laying around the office. Heaven knows the stores are LOADED with candy displays and just going grocery shopping can be overwhelming.
Every year I have clients that are going great guns on their weight loss, only to trip and fall when the challenges of this time of year get to be too much. The only way to get through it is to make up your mind that this time, you are going to make different choices then you have before. The remaining months of 2014 (can you believe that?) are completely under your control as far as the what you choose to eat or not. I think at times we actually justify what we eat by telling ourselves we are powerless over the food temptations. How crazy is that? We haven't been force fed anything since we were on baby food!
Yes, we have Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas and then New Years. All plenty of reasons to procrastinate doing anything about our weight until it's over. No one likes to feel left out or deprived of the celebrating, but how often has your weight interfered with you living your best life? How often have you felt deprived of an opportunity because of your weight? How often have you made an excuse not to do something that you worried would embarrass you and how often have you said "No" to food offered because you didn't want people to see you eating? All various forms of self deprivation, isn't it? And that just leaves you feeling frustrated because nothing was really accomplished.
The thought of beginning a diet this time of year may seem like poor timing, and for most conventional diets I would agree. Why suffer for only a few pounds lost? The good news is that The Cambridge Diet allows you to make a HUGE amount of progress in a very short amount of time. Between now and the new year, you could potentially lose 50, 60, even 70 pounds! We have 85 days from today until 2015. You can spend those days knowing that by the New Year you will be slimmer and healthier then you are now...or not. Jan 1st will come either way and it's up to you how you welcome the New Year.
Starting over
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 09/23/14:
It is not unusual for people to have a harder time getting back to SS after a break. I try to warn people of that, but most people don't have a cooperative life that will accommodate several months of uninterrupted dieting time. It does't seem to matter how desirous a person is to begin again, or how much progress they have already made...it's never as easy to start again, but it's also not impossible. It really is all in the mind and as humans, we are highly suggestible to outside motivation and influences, good and bad. When we start the first time we have TONS of motivation! There is lots of anticipation of what your experience will be, what it will be like to watch the scale and the sizes go down. We are highly focused on the complete change. We will not be eating regular food and the reality of that can seem intimidating. We are prepared to experience something unknown and it keeps our head in the game.
It is not unusual for people to have a harder time getting back to SS after a break. I try to warn people of that, but most people don't have a cooperative life that will accommodate several months of uninterrupted dieting time. It does't seem to matter how desirous a person is to begin again, or how much progress they have already made...it's never as easy to start again, but it's also not impossible. It really is all in the mind and as humans, we are highly suggestible to outside motivation and influences, good and bad. When we start the first time we have TONS of motivation! There is lots of anticipation of what your experience will be, what it will be like to watch the scale and the sizes go down. We are highly focused on the complete change. We will not be eating regular food and the reality of that can seem intimidating. We are prepared to experience something unknown and it keeps our head in the game.
After a break and discovering how much we like to eat again, it kind of deflates the momentum and all the unknown factors are replaced with "here I go again" type of feelings. We now know what to expect and the memory of how great we were feeling while SSing has dimmed somewhat. Just like the first time, it takes a few days to get back to fat burning mode and once again getting excited about the weight loss.
The emotions attached to food and being overweight run deep. They are strong and up until now have over ridden all others. It falls very much in to addictive type thinking, justifying, bargaining, denial, procrastinating, deception, depression, dependence...the list is long and different for everyone, but also very similar in that we choose it over our own well-being. The fact that we are surrounded by food at all times is unique to our lifetime and our culture. If we still had to grow it or catch it, we'd probably all be thin! It's way to easy to make snap decisions before we realize we made them.
As far as not enjoying the taste as much, for most people that is actually something that doesn't come right away. Our tastes are based on what we are used to consuming. Regular food is salty, sweet, bitter, fatty, and multi-textured. Most people find Cambridge palatable, but not necessarily enjoyable until their pallet has adjusted and then they actually begin to look forward to it. Like before, a few days on track and things will be different.
Ultimately this is where you test your determination. If you really want to lose this weight, there is no painless way to do it. Weight loss always requires some deprivation of some form. It would be awesome if we had a switch we could flip that caused our body to store or burn fat as needed, no change of lifestyle required.....wow....that WOULD be awesome! lol! Unfortunately we have to say "No" to ourselves a lot to accomplish this goal of weight loss and getting healthy. We tend to jump from diet to diet, hoping to find one that fits in to our life effortlessly and without any sacrifice of the things that have made us overweight, only to find that they ALL demand we turn away from what we crave or long for. The fact that most conventional diets only give 1 or 2 pounds loss per week, if that, is discouraging and drags the dieting experience out forever. We quit and jump to the next. Cambridge works and it works fast if you give it the chance. No other diet will give you the results that Cambridge can in a very short period of time. 20 to 30 pounds per month is average. You would be done before you know it. If you decide to eat a small meal each day along with it then you would still meet your goal if you are careful about your additional calories. No more then 300 to 400 tops. About 3 oz protein and 1 to 2 cups of green veg or salad greens is all.
If you are beginning again, what I would suggest is that you take some time and try to rediscover what motivated you to begin Cambridge the first time. This is where journaling would have come in handy. There is something about reading your own thoughts and feelings back before you started that can refocus your emotions and thoughts back to where you want them. You could take some time today and begin doing that now. I know that writing helps me dig in to my feelings and having it in writing and reading them reminds me of my true feelings, not just those "in the moment" when I'm feeling weak. Make some post-it's and put them up for reminders. Make a time line and mark off the hours and days of being successful. You will be less likely to sacrifice the time you gave already if you see it in front of you. Create an environment of support for yourself to get you through the re-start until you are in the zone.
I hope I gave you some things to ponder and that it helps. This is completely under your control. All you have to do is make the decision. Maybe there is a switch? It's in our mind, not our body. Our thoughts govern our actions. Every choice we make begins as a single thought. Spend some time concentrating on what you really want and what you are willing to do to get it. Commit to one day, 24 hours. You can do anything for 24 hours. It may be all you need to get back on track again.
The emotions attached to food and being overweight run deep. They are strong and up until now have over ridden all others. It falls very much in to addictive type thinking, justifying, bargaining, denial, procrastinating, deception, depression, dependence...the list is long and different for everyone, but also very similar in that we choose it over our own well-being. The fact that we are surrounded by food at all times is unique to our lifetime and our culture. If we still had to grow it or catch it, we'd probably all be thin! It's way to easy to make snap decisions before we realize we made them.
As far as not enjoying the taste as much, for most people that is actually something that doesn't come right away. Our tastes are based on what we are used to consuming. Regular food is salty, sweet, bitter, fatty, and multi-textured. Most people find Cambridge palatable, but not necessarily enjoyable until their pallet has adjusted and then they actually begin to look forward to it. Like before, a few days on track and things will be different.
Ultimately this is where you test your determination. If you really want to lose this weight, there is no painless way to do it. Weight loss always requires some deprivation of some form. It would be awesome if we had a switch we could flip that caused our body to store or burn fat as needed, no change of lifestyle required.....wow....that WOULD be awesome! lol! Unfortunately we have to say "No" to ourselves a lot to accomplish this goal of weight loss and getting healthy. We tend to jump from diet to diet, hoping to find one that fits in to our life effortlessly and without any sacrifice of the things that have made us overweight, only to find that they ALL demand we turn away from what we crave or long for. The fact that most conventional diets only give 1 or 2 pounds loss per week, if that, is discouraging and drags the dieting experience out forever. We quit and jump to the next. Cambridge works and it works fast if you give it the chance. No other diet will give you the results that Cambridge can in a very short period of time. 20 to 30 pounds per month is average. You would be done before you know it. If you decide to eat a small meal each day along with it then you would still meet your goal if you are careful about your additional calories. No more then 300 to 400 tops. About 3 oz protein and 1 to 2 cups of green veg or salad greens is all.
If you are beginning again, what I would suggest is that you take some time and try to rediscover what motivated you to begin Cambridge the first time. This is where journaling would have come in handy. There is something about reading your own thoughts and feelings back before you started that can refocus your emotions and thoughts back to where you want them. You could take some time today and begin doing that now. I know that writing helps me dig in to my feelings and having it in writing and reading them reminds me of my true feelings, not just those "in the moment" when I'm feeling weak. Make some post-it's and put them up for reminders. Make a time line and mark off the hours and days of being successful. You will be less likely to sacrifice the time you gave already if you see it in front of you. Create an environment of support for yourself to get you through the re-start until you are in the zone.
I hope I gave you some things to ponder and that it helps. This is completely under your control. All you have to do is make the decision. Maybe there is a switch? It's in our mind, not our body. Our thoughts govern our actions. Every choice we make begins as a single thought. Spend some time concentrating on what you really want and what you are willing to do to get it. Commit to one day, 24 hours. You can do anything for 24 hours. It may be all you need to get back on track again.
Monday Mornings
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 09/08/14:
We are already in our second week of September! Wow!!! Time is flying by. I think we can get kind of apathetic in the summertime. Vacations and BBQs and all can distract us from our goals. We just want to have fun! Unfortunately, as Fall begin to move in and we see the changing of the season, we know the winter and the {{{{{Holiday}}}}}} season is right around the corner! Gasp!!!!!
Don't let this upcoming holiday season catch you off guard. Make as much progress as you can right now so you can freely enjoy the season with all the picture taking, family reunions, party clothes and socializing without any self consciousnesses. No hiding behind someone bigger in the family pic! Not this year!
Monday is traditionally a day to begin a health and fitness reboot. It's psychological of course. Your body doesn't care what day or time you begin. Only that you do BEGIN! Today there is a sense of summer waning and Autumn approaching in the air. This may just be the perfect Monday to begin or recommit to your life changing for the better. Why wait another week, or month, or heaven forbid...another year?
We can continue to build a wall of isolating fat around us, food brick by food brick, or we can start swinging that sledge hammer and begin the process of bashing it down.
Monday morning? Bring it!
We are already in our second week of September! Wow!!! Time is flying by. I think we can get kind of apathetic in the summertime. Vacations and BBQs and all can distract us from our goals. We just want to have fun! Unfortunately, as Fall begin to move in and we see the changing of the season, we know the winter and the {{{{{Holiday}}}}}} season is right around the corner! Gasp!!!!!
Don't let this upcoming holiday season catch you off guard. Make as much progress as you can right now so you can freely enjoy the season with all the picture taking, family reunions, party clothes and socializing without any self consciousnesses. No hiding behind someone bigger in the family pic! Not this year!
Monday is traditionally a day to begin a health and fitness reboot. It's psychological of course. Your body doesn't care what day or time you begin. Only that you do BEGIN! Today there is a sense of summer waning and Autumn approaching in the air. This may just be the perfect Monday to begin or recommit to your life changing for the better. Why wait another week, or month, or heaven forbid...another year?
We can continue to build a wall of isolating fat around us, food brick by food brick, or we can start swinging that sledge hammer and begin the process of bashing it down.
Monday morning? Bring it!
Addiction, depression, fighting back, giving up
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 08/13/14:
With the suicide of Robin Williams, a lot of speculation is being shared regarding what the cause was for his tragic decision to end his life. He was after all, just a man. He had a career, a family, a couple of divorces, a health crisis, personal losses of friends, struggled with addictions and depression...not much different than the average person. The only thing that set him apart was that he was in the entertainment business. Lots of people are and there does seem to be a high level of deaths due to suicide and overdoses within those in the entertainment business, but maybe that is only because we are bombarded with the news when it happens with someone famous. People die every day for the same reasons that we never hear about. Some of us may even have someone in our family that ended their life or attempted to, or who maybe has addictions that they have not been able to overcome. What makes one person able to overcome and another one to give up?
We have discussed the concept of overeating as an addiction. Some people with chemical addictions take offense at that idea. They do not believe that food can be an addictive substance causing the person to knowingly be self destructive and even endanger their life by indulging in it like someone addicted to a drug or alcohol.
I think we do not need to classify things so much. Any person who repeatedly partakes in a substance or behavior that is harmful or destructive to mind and/or body is suffering from the same basic problem. Food, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, all can be the eventual end of life. All can rob the person of quality of life, end relationships, hurt innocent people, cause depression and a sense of failure. Logic tells the person to just stop. Quit. Change. Easier said then done.
Rehab is a popular option for drug and alcohol addictions, even sexual addicts have rehab....for those that can afford it. Eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia have recovery centers. All of these self destructive behaviors have intervention options. What is there for the obese? We are no different. Our psychology is very much the same as any other addict. Where is our rehab?
Depression and hopelessness is the natural result of a life out of balance, a life out of control. Not everyone can pull themselves out once they descend in to the pit, especially if they are still battling their addictions. My own personal experience with depression went on for many years. I was medicated and had some therapy, but it didn't cure anything. It wasn't until I got my addiction for food under control and began to put some distance between it and my sense of self that I realized I wasn't a "depressed person". I was a person struggling with an extreme problem that effected every aspect of my life. A problem that I felt powerless to do anything about, no matter how hard or how long I tried. I wasn't depressed. It was just that the life I was living sucked really bad.
Beginning the process of change is intimidating and scary and exciting and unknown. Those of us that hold tightly to whatever we have used to cope or to self medicate do NOT give it up willingly. We can't see life on the other side of addiction and believe that we can ever be truly and permanently free or at peace. The people in our lives grow weary of our repeated attempts at recovery and we gradually lose our support system and can find ourselves feeling alone.
What makes one person give up and another fight until they are free? Hard to say. To see someone who appears to have all the resources available to them to overcome their addictions, only to commit suicide...makes sense to no one but them. Oprah had unlimited resources to deal with her obesity. Personal chefs, personal trainers, therapy, some of the world's most respected minds a phone call away...she lost weight and gained it back the same as any other food addict. We are all the same.
When we lose someone like Robin Williams to addiction or suicide it shakes us up and can cause us to examine our own problems a little more closely. It is a time for empathy and an unfortunate opportunity to realize we are all battling our demons of one kind or another. He didn't have it in him to fight anymore. I can't imagine that kind of desperate sadness to actually do something to end my own life.
Hopelessness is the enemy. When a person loses hope, there is no more reason to fight or change or believe there is anything to save them. I have had the privilege of being in the receiving end of phone calls over the years of people making one more attempt at reaching out for help. They don't believe in themselves anymore or their ability to change. There is nothing better then if by the end of the conversation I hear the magic words, "I have hope". It's a beginning.
Never give up on achieving the life you want. Losing weight in no way gets the respect it deserves. Living life as an obese person is hard in every way. Overcoming what drives a person to self abuse with food is a tremendous accomplishment. Remaining "food sober" is no walk in the park either. We all know that. Never give up.
With the suicide of Robin Williams, a lot of speculation is being shared regarding what the cause was for his tragic decision to end his life. He was after all, just a man. He had a career, a family, a couple of divorces, a health crisis, personal losses of friends, struggled with addictions and depression...not much different than the average person. The only thing that set him apart was that he was in the entertainment business. Lots of people are and there does seem to be a high level of deaths due to suicide and overdoses within those in the entertainment business, but maybe that is only because we are bombarded with the news when it happens with someone famous. People die every day for the same reasons that we never hear about. Some of us may even have someone in our family that ended their life or attempted to, or who maybe has addictions that they have not been able to overcome. What makes one person able to overcome and another one to give up?
We have discussed the concept of overeating as an addiction. Some people with chemical addictions take offense at that idea. They do not believe that food can be an addictive substance causing the person to knowingly be self destructive and even endanger their life by indulging in it like someone addicted to a drug or alcohol.
I think we do not need to classify things so much. Any person who repeatedly partakes in a substance or behavior that is harmful or destructive to mind and/or body is suffering from the same basic problem. Food, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, all can be the eventual end of life. All can rob the person of quality of life, end relationships, hurt innocent people, cause depression and a sense of failure. Logic tells the person to just stop. Quit. Change. Easier said then done.
Rehab is a popular option for drug and alcohol addictions, even sexual addicts have rehab....for those that can afford it. Eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia have recovery centers. All of these self destructive behaviors have intervention options. What is there for the obese? We are no different. Our psychology is very much the same as any other addict. Where is our rehab?
Depression and hopelessness is the natural result of a life out of balance, a life out of control. Not everyone can pull themselves out once they descend in to the pit, especially if they are still battling their addictions. My own personal experience with depression went on for many years. I was medicated and had some therapy, but it didn't cure anything. It wasn't until I got my addiction for food under control and began to put some distance between it and my sense of self that I realized I wasn't a "depressed person". I was a person struggling with an extreme problem that effected every aspect of my life. A problem that I felt powerless to do anything about, no matter how hard or how long I tried. I wasn't depressed. It was just that the life I was living sucked really bad.
Beginning the process of change is intimidating and scary and exciting and unknown. Those of us that hold tightly to whatever we have used to cope or to self medicate do NOT give it up willingly. We can't see life on the other side of addiction and believe that we can ever be truly and permanently free or at peace. The people in our lives grow weary of our repeated attempts at recovery and we gradually lose our support system and can find ourselves feeling alone.
What makes one person give up and another fight until they are free? Hard to say. To see someone who appears to have all the resources available to them to overcome their addictions, only to commit suicide...makes sense to no one but them. Oprah had unlimited resources to deal with her obesity. Personal chefs, personal trainers, therapy, some of the world's most respected minds a phone call away...she lost weight and gained it back the same as any other food addict. We are all the same.
When we lose someone like Robin Williams to addiction or suicide it shakes us up and can cause us to examine our own problems a little more closely. It is a time for empathy and an unfortunate opportunity to realize we are all battling our demons of one kind or another. He didn't have it in him to fight anymore. I can't imagine that kind of desperate sadness to actually do something to end my own life.
Hopelessness is the enemy. When a person loses hope, there is no more reason to fight or change or believe there is anything to save them. I have had the privilege of being in the receiving end of phone calls over the years of people making one more attempt at reaching out for help. They don't believe in themselves anymore or their ability to change. There is nothing better then if by the end of the conversation I hear the magic words, "I have hope". It's a beginning.
Never give up on achieving the life you want. Losing weight in no way gets the respect it deserves. Living life as an obese person is hard in every way. Overcoming what drives a person to self abuse with food is a tremendous accomplishment. Remaining "food sober" is no walk in the park either. We all know that. Never give up.
Day 15
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 04/18/14:
So here I am on day 15! I am well on my way to achieving my ultimate weight loss goal. My high school weight. Back when I was in high school I never thought of myself as thin. Not by a long shot! I had spent my entire life up until then being the chubby kid so it was all I knew. I was 5'9" so I was already taking up more space then any of my petite little 5'4" friends were, and they were all so willowy. My body always felt bulky to me, even thought I was only a size 7. I was curvy, but the style back then was to look like a 9 year old boy so I just didn't fit the mold.
I look back at the few pictures I have of myself as a teenager and I realize I was absolutely perfect for me. I was physically healthy, (once I recovered from the horrible crash diet I had been on) but my mind was still the mind of the "fat girl" who didn't look like her lithe, wispy friends. Unfortunately my distorted self image eventually became my reality, only much worse.
Now, my goal is to go back to my ideal weight and enjoy and appreciate what I should have when I had it before. Will I look 16 again? HAHAHAHAHA! Such a funny question. I now live in a 55 year old body that has been beaten to Hell and back, but for an old girl...it's all good. My thighs will never make a public appearance in shorts or swim suit, even though I live in Florida. But I can live with that. I come from a family with people that die too early. My mom at 62, her Father at only 45, and more recently this past Oct, my sister that was only 2 years older then me. I have a history of diabetes that keeps snapping at my heels as I try to outrun it and heart disease...well...the list is long. I've managed to outrun the pack of health issues so far, but I know enough to know that getting older will trip me up if I don't do everything I can to be as healthy as I can and priority 1 is get rid of the last layer of excess me that for some reason up until now, I was not ready to let go of.
So here I am on day 15! I am well on my way to achieving my ultimate weight loss goal. My high school weight. Back when I was in high school I never thought of myself as thin. Not by a long shot! I had spent my entire life up until then being the chubby kid so it was all I knew. I was 5'9" so I was already taking up more space then any of my petite little 5'4" friends were, and they were all so willowy. My body always felt bulky to me, even thought I was only a size 7. I was curvy, but the style back then was to look like a 9 year old boy so I just didn't fit the mold.
I look back at the few pictures I have of myself as a teenager and I realize I was absolutely perfect for me. I was physically healthy, (once I recovered from the horrible crash diet I had been on) but my mind was still the mind of the "fat girl" who didn't look like her lithe, wispy friends. Unfortunately my distorted self image eventually became my reality, only much worse.
Now, my goal is to go back to my ideal weight and enjoy and appreciate what I should have when I had it before. Will I look 16 again? HAHAHAHAHA! Such a funny question. I now live in a 55 year old body that has been beaten to Hell and back, but for an old girl...it's all good. My thighs will never make a public appearance in shorts or swim suit, even though I live in Florida. But I can live with that. I come from a family with people that die too early. My mom at 62, her Father at only 45, and more recently this past Oct, my sister that was only 2 years older then me. I have a history of diabetes that keeps snapping at my heels as I try to outrun it and heart disease...well...the list is long. I've managed to outrun the pack of health issues so far, but I know enough to know that getting older will trip me up if I don't do everything I can to be as healthy as I can and priority 1 is get rid of the last layer of excess me that for some reason up until now, I was not ready to let go of.
Day 15 is an awesome place to be! I feel great and I already see changes. I refuse to weigh so I have no idea how much I've lost, but I do know that all attempts I've made to do this over the last 12 years ended when I saw a certain number on the scale. Why? heck if I know, but this time I won't know when I reach or speed right on past it. I plan to just focus on what I'm doing and not fall in to any old traps that trigger old behaviors. Not gonna do it!
Eliminating Obstacles
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 04/18/14:
There are basically two things we are dealing with when it comes to doing this or any other diet. Thing one is the physical part of experiencing some hunger for a few days, maybe some fatigue or a headache. No biggie. It's not fun, but the way I figured it, I'd had my years of gluttony and excessive indulgences. It was time to pay the piper. Hunger has its limits.It's not terminal. It doesn't keep expanding in to an unbearable agony or anything. Plus, you are consuming Cambridge and other non caloric beverages so you're not completely on empty. Nothing terrible is happening. Hunger is a normal part of life for all creatures...although most of us rarely actually experience it in our food laden lives so when it happens...we freak!
Thing two is the mental stuff and that is where the greatest cause of failure (for lack of a better word) happens. When you are fat and feeling negative about yourself, not just in appearance, but in your very character due to a sense of no self control, there is an endless dialog running in your head reinforcing that opinion at the same time there is a library of justifications and excuses playing as to why you should give up and endlessly procrastinate. There are the outside influences as well that do a fine job of discouraging someone when they are on a diet, but ultimately it is our own thoughts that stimulate action. The body is not in control of any of this. It does not go on autopilot and start ransacking the pantry forcing you to eat. Other people do not hold you down and force feed you. Every single action a person takes begins as a single speck of a thought. One thought builds on another and before you know it, your body reacts chemically to the signals and starts producing adrenalin and stress hormones and you need something to smother it all out. For us...that is food.
To be successful you MUST get control of your thoughts and the self talk that leads you to caving in. Pay attention to it. It is not the smell of a co-workers lunch or your mamma's mac and cheese that will be your undoing. It is your willingness to allow the germ of a thought to abandon your diet for one more day or week, or to assimilate any negative ideas about your self worth that will take you out.
Create an environment that nurtures your efforts. Do not fall in to the trap of setting yourself up to fail so you have an excuse to do so. I'm convinced that having a scale as part of your weight loss experience is detrimental to your success. Maybe with other diets you need one to make sure you are not screwing up, but that's not an issue with Cambridge. Just have your 3 or 4 servings a day and let nature take its course. When you're skinny enough for your own comfort, you are done. You'll know when you get there. Scales are the reason most people abandon their diets. We are as hopelessly addicted to numbers on a scale as we are to our bad eating habits. We see a good number..we eat. We see a bad number..we eat. You can't win at this game. Eliminate it.
Do not allow others to implant negative thoughts about what you are doing in your head. It's no body's business but your own and you are perfectly justified in letting them know that. Put them in their place. You're not a fool and you know what you're doing. If they also have weight to lose they'll see your success and and either want to try to improve themselves too from your example,or they will try to sabotage you (for reasons coming up) or they will avoid you like the plague. When a person is not ready to help themselves, they don't want someone else around them getting their act together and shine a big old spotlight on their unaddressed weight problem. Friends, family, co-workers, even spouses can feel very threatened when someone in their life loses weight. They may not like losing their "eating buddy", or feel left behind or suddenly not good enough...so many emotions. It may not seem fair, but it is up to you to set their minds at ease and let them know this is something you are doing for yourself and in the case of a spouse, it's ok to let them know you are doing it for "us".
The main message is, the secrete to weight loss success is not in a can or a pill or a doctors operating room. It is between your own ears. Your thoughts made you fat, and your thoughts will be what gets you thin. No one gets fat because they were hungry. You change your thinking, and you change your life.
There are basically two things we are dealing with when it comes to doing this or any other diet. Thing one is the physical part of experiencing some hunger for a few days, maybe some fatigue or a headache. No biggie. It's not fun, but the way I figured it, I'd had my years of gluttony and excessive indulgences. It was time to pay the piper. Hunger has its limits.It's not terminal. It doesn't keep expanding in to an unbearable agony or anything. Plus, you are consuming Cambridge and other non caloric beverages so you're not completely on empty. Nothing terrible is happening. Hunger is a normal part of life for all creatures...although most of us rarely actually experience it in our food laden lives so when it happens...we freak!
Thing two is the mental stuff and that is where the greatest cause of failure (for lack of a better word) happens. When you are fat and feeling negative about yourself, not just in appearance, but in your very character due to a sense of no self control, there is an endless dialog running in your head reinforcing that opinion at the same time there is a library of justifications and excuses playing as to why you should give up and endlessly procrastinate. There are the outside influences as well that do a fine job of discouraging someone when they are on a diet, but ultimately it is our own thoughts that stimulate action. The body is not in control of any of this. It does not go on autopilot and start ransacking the pantry forcing you to eat. Other people do not hold you down and force feed you. Every single action a person takes begins as a single speck of a thought. One thought builds on another and before you know it, your body reacts chemically to the signals and starts producing adrenalin and stress hormones and you need something to smother it all out. For us...that is food.
To be successful you MUST get control of your thoughts and the self talk that leads you to caving in. Pay attention to it. It is not the smell of a co-workers lunch or your mamma's mac and cheese that will be your undoing. It is your willingness to allow the germ of a thought to abandon your diet for one more day or week, or to assimilate any negative ideas about your self worth that will take you out.
Create an environment that nurtures your efforts. Do not fall in to the trap of setting yourself up to fail so you have an excuse to do so. I'm convinced that having a scale as part of your weight loss experience is detrimental to your success. Maybe with other diets you need one to make sure you are not screwing up, but that's not an issue with Cambridge. Just have your 3 or 4 servings a day and let nature take its course. When you're skinny enough for your own comfort, you are done. You'll know when you get there. Scales are the reason most people abandon their diets. We are as hopelessly addicted to numbers on a scale as we are to our bad eating habits. We see a good number..we eat. We see a bad number..we eat. You can't win at this game. Eliminate it.
Do not allow others to implant negative thoughts about what you are doing in your head. It's no body's business but your own and you are perfectly justified in letting them know that. Put them in their place. You're not a fool and you know what you're doing. If they also have weight to lose they'll see your success and and either want to try to improve themselves too from your example,or they will try to sabotage you (for reasons coming up) or they will avoid you like the plague. When a person is not ready to help themselves, they don't want someone else around them getting their act together and shine a big old spotlight on their unaddressed weight problem. Friends, family, co-workers, even spouses can feel very threatened when someone in their life loses weight. They may not like losing their "eating buddy", or feel left behind or suddenly not good enough...so many emotions. It may not seem fair, but it is up to you to set their minds at ease and let them know this is something you are doing for yourself and in the case of a spouse, it's ok to let them know you are doing it for "us".
The main message is, the secrete to weight loss success is not in a can or a pill or a doctors operating room. It is between your own ears. Your thoughts made you fat, and your thoughts will be what gets you thin. No one gets fat because they were hungry. You change your thinking, and you change your life.
Day 10
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 04/13/14;
Today is day 10 for me. I have a goal for this year to get all the way down to my high school weight. I have not seen that since....well...high school! I have made a few half hearted attempts at it over the years, but I just didn't feel motivated enough. I made a spur of the moment decision 10 days ago to just pee or get off the pot (as my mother used to say!) and without any fanfare or plan, I just started. I put my scale out in the garage. I have accepted the truth that weighing is the kiss of death for me. I can be going along with my weight loss just fine, but if I see a number I don't like it can completely derail me so...no scale for me. I'm just going to keep moving forward and not worry about numbers. I know that all I have to do is stick to my 3 servings a day and not fool around by nibbling here or there or "taking a break" or any of the other self sabotaging behaviors I know I'm capable of. I want this so I'm giving it my absolute best. I have to admit, I'm curious to know how much I've lost in 10 days, but I will resist the urge and leave the evil scale alone!
Temporary Weight Loss?
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 04/13/14:
It's interesting how we think about weight loss. We go on a diet. We lose weight. We reach our goal (hopefully). We return to regular eating. We gain the weight again. We blame the diet for only being a temporary fix.
Because of this pattern we think it's the failing of the weight loss plan we choose. That would be like blaming the effect for the cause. It's not logical thinking and it's not how things work. The only way a person gains weight is by over eating and under moving. There is no mystery. If a person returns to the eating habits and lifestyle that put the original pounds on, it will again...of course!
Weight loss plans do not cure obesity. Even weight loss surgery does not cure obesity. Obesity is not a disease that needs curing. It is a physical symptom of an emotional malfunction. If the emotional component is ignored, no diet in the world will grant permanent weight loss. Rather then looking at obesity as a temporary condition of a body and mind out of sync as we should, we tend to think of restoring our body to a healthy weight as temporary and in peril of reversal at any moment! That is faulty thinking.
It's a true fact that most people that manage to lose weight will gain weight again. They won't gain "back" the same fat they lost before. It no longer exists. It's not out there floating around just waiting for an opportunity to jump back on! However, people are perfectly capable of accumulating new fat if they go back to living a lifestyle that supports it. We need to stop thinking of our obese selves as our normal selves. Our normal self is at a healthy weight and fitness level. Up until now, lifestyle has prevented this normal. Our bodies try every minute of every day to restore normal. It's how we're made. The excess fat on our bodies is the intruder and needs to be eliminated and denied reentry!
Weight loss is only permanent when we accept the fact that the reason we were fat was completely due to how we think and feel about food. Obesity happens because of us. It does not happen to us.
It's interesting how we think about weight loss. We go on a diet. We lose weight. We reach our goal (hopefully). We return to regular eating. We gain the weight again. We blame the diet for only being a temporary fix.
Because of this pattern we think it's the failing of the weight loss plan we choose. That would be like blaming the effect for the cause. It's not logical thinking and it's not how things work. The only way a person gains weight is by over eating and under moving. There is no mystery. If a person returns to the eating habits and lifestyle that put the original pounds on, it will again...of course!
Weight loss plans do not cure obesity. Even weight loss surgery does not cure obesity. Obesity is not a disease that needs curing. It is a physical symptom of an emotional malfunction. If the emotional component is ignored, no diet in the world will grant permanent weight loss. Rather then looking at obesity as a temporary condition of a body and mind out of sync as we should, we tend to think of restoring our body to a healthy weight as temporary and in peril of reversal at any moment! That is faulty thinking.
It's a true fact that most people that manage to lose weight will gain weight again. They won't gain "back" the same fat they lost before. It no longer exists. It's not out there floating around just waiting for an opportunity to jump back on! However, people are perfectly capable of accumulating new fat if they go back to living a lifestyle that supports it. We need to stop thinking of our obese selves as our normal selves. Our normal self is at a healthy weight and fitness level. Up until now, lifestyle has prevented this normal. Our bodies try every minute of every day to restore normal. It's how we're made. The excess fat on our bodies is the intruder and needs to be eliminated and denied reentry!
Weight loss is only permanent when we accept the fact that the reason we were fat was completely due to how we think and feel about food. Obesity happens because of us. It does not happen to us.
There are 2 absolute things I know and I can promise are true.
#1. If you stick to Cambridge 100% you have the iron clad ability to get to your normal healthy weight.
#2. If you go back to eating as you did before, you will once again gain weight and may end up right back where you started.
With these 2 simple facts we have all the information we need to make our post Cambridge weight our new permanent normal and the knowledge of what (not) to do to ensure we don't gain weight again.
#1. If you stick to Cambridge 100% you have the iron clad ability to get to your normal healthy weight.
#2. If you go back to eating as you did before, you will once again gain weight and may end up right back where you started.
With these 2 simple facts we have all the information we need to make our post Cambridge weight our new permanent normal and the knowledge of what (not) to do to ensure we don't gain weight again.
It may take some time for your brain to catch up to your body. I know mine did. But the mind and body are very much connected and by rebooting your emotional connection to food, clearing out all the old thinking and programming, you can then welcome in your new and improved belief of self.
Turning 55
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 03/14/14:
I had my birthday last month, Feb 18th to be exact. I guess it was one of those half way milestones, no longer early 50's, on my way to 60. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I have not had nearly the adventures I thought I would have had when I was young. So much of my early years were consumed (no pun intended) with parenting, food, my obesity, and poor health. Now I am healthy, but not in a financial place to do all the traveling etc I had hoped for. I guess you can't have everything, but as you get older you do become hyper aware of the time you have left on this planet and think a lot about whether you are spending it doing what you would like to be doing.
I had a lifelong dream of living by the beach. I do. I had a lifelong dream of finding and marrying someone that would love me unconditionally. I have. I had a goal of my Cambridge business being my retirement income. It is. Now this one may seem weird, but I love Disneyland and being a So Ca girl it was one of my favorite places. I dreamed of living close enough to be able to have a resident pass and go whenever I felt like it. Not being a fan of Anaheim I never made the move...but.... we now live in Fl about an hour and a quarter away from Disney World with resident passes in hand. Check! Life is good.
I had my birthday last month, Feb 18th to be exact. I guess it was one of those half way milestones, no longer early 50's, on my way to 60. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I have not had nearly the adventures I thought I would have had when I was young. So much of my early years were consumed (no pun intended) with parenting, food, my obesity, and poor health. Now I am healthy, but not in a financial place to do all the traveling etc I had hoped for. I guess you can't have everything, but as you get older you do become hyper aware of the time you have left on this planet and think a lot about whether you are spending it doing what you would like to be doing.
I had a lifelong dream of living by the beach. I do. I had a lifelong dream of finding and marrying someone that would love me unconditionally. I have. I had a goal of my Cambridge business being my retirement income. It is. Now this one may seem weird, but I love Disneyland and being a So Ca girl it was one of my favorite places. I dreamed of living close enough to be able to have a resident pass and go whenever I felt like it. Not being a fan of Anaheim I never made the move...but.... we now live in Fl about an hour and a quarter away from Disney World with resident passes in hand. Check! Life is good.
Years ago when my kids were young.. I was a single mom, we were on food stamps, I was disabled, and life was bleak living in a government subsidized apartment complex, I struggled constantly to keep us afloat and not let my kids know how desperate our situation was. I wanted them to have as normal of a childhood as I could provide as a single parent. I ran a licensed day care in our apartment and did the best I could. I was always aware of how well my childhood friends had done and how different our lives were. Even something as simple as having a car less then 20 years old, or taking a vacation, or even having a VCR was stuff I only dreamed about. Forget about ever owning my own home. For some reason my life had taken a detour and it was about survival, nothing else.
One day I sat and made a list of all the things I wished to achieve and acquire. It was crazy and out of reach, but I just wanted to see it all in writing. #1 was lose weight and get healthy and it went on to other things, ultimately ending with a house of my own. I taped it to the wall next to my bed and forgot about it. Most of the things on the list were simple, not extravagant, but still not in sight.
I remember a movie that was a favorite of mine and my kids. It was called "A Home Of Our Own" with Kathy Bates playing a widowed mother searching for a place she could raise her kids. There is a line that summed up how it was for us. One of her boys is looking in a store window at Christmas and his adult voice narrator said, "When I was a kid, everything you saw...was something you couldn't have". Yup. It was like that.
Anyway, it was some years later. We were still living in that apartment, but things had changed. I had lost my weight on Cambridge. In that experience I discovered I was so much stronger then I'd given myself credit for. I became a Distributor and had built a strong business in a very short time. One day my daughter came to me with a peice of paper. She showed it to me and said, "Mom...do you realize that you have achieved just about everything on this list?" I had forgotten about it and was shocked to see that she was right! The only 3 things remaining were to buy my own home, find love, and travel. 4 months later I bought my first home. A 2800 sq ft home on half an acre in central Ca with a ready made park like play ground in the back for my day care, 20 fruit trees and a place to move my beloved elderly Aunt in with us. It was all pretty incredible for my little family. That was almost 11 years ago. After 4 years I sold that home and made a nice profit, enough to buy a beautiful home on the river in Utah. We spent 6 happy years there, I eventually started dating and then met my husband. We've been married for 2 years now and moved across the country to where we are now, 6 miles from the most amazing beaches.
I guess my reason for this post, other then I was sitting here this morning counting my blessings and taking a moment to realize how fortunate I am, was to put it out there that no matter how your life is now, no matter how defeated you may feel at the moment, life can turn on a dime if you let it. It takes work and courage and a willingness to abandon old beliefs and habits and whatever has been holding you back, but you can accomplish great things if you put you mind and your shoulder to it and not let anything stop you. Making that list so many years ago when I had no reason to think any of it would ever become reality was that first tiny push to cracking the door of possibilities. I didn't need to believe at the time that any of it would happen, because I didn't! lol! I don't know why I taped it up rather then tear it up, but it was the beginning of the change for me. My life really began at 42 and by the time I was 50, I was finally feeling free to be the person I should have been all along.
Never underestimate your ability to change yourself or the circumstances of your life. We are so much more powerful then we believe ourselves to be. Some things in life happen to us, but most things happen because of us. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for the situation you're in because that just means you can change it.
So..turning 55? Well....that just means I have had one more year to celebrate my life that it took so long for me to discover.
One day I sat and made a list of all the things I wished to achieve and acquire. It was crazy and out of reach, but I just wanted to see it all in writing. #1 was lose weight and get healthy and it went on to other things, ultimately ending with a house of my own. I taped it to the wall next to my bed and forgot about it. Most of the things on the list were simple, not extravagant, but still not in sight.
I remember a movie that was a favorite of mine and my kids. It was called "A Home Of Our Own" with Kathy Bates playing a widowed mother searching for a place she could raise her kids. There is a line that summed up how it was for us. One of her boys is looking in a store window at Christmas and his adult voice narrator said, "When I was a kid, everything you saw...was something you couldn't have". Yup. It was like that.
Anyway, it was some years later. We were still living in that apartment, but things had changed. I had lost my weight on Cambridge. In that experience I discovered I was so much stronger then I'd given myself credit for. I became a Distributor and had built a strong business in a very short time. One day my daughter came to me with a peice of paper. She showed it to me and said, "Mom...do you realize that you have achieved just about everything on this list?" I had forgotten about it and was shocked to see that she was right! The only 3 things remaining were to buy my own home, find love, and travel. 4 months later I bought my first home. A 2800 sq ft home on half an acre in central Ca with a ready made park like play ground in the back for my day care, 20 fruit trees and a place to move my beloved elderly Aunt in with us. It was all pretty incredible for my little family. That was almost 11 years ago. After 4 years I sold that home and made a nice profit, enough to buy a beautiful home on the river in Utah. We spent 6 happy years there, I eventually started dating and then met my husband. We've been married for 2 years now and moved across the country to where we are now, 6 miles from the most amazing beaches.
I guess my reason for this post, other then I was sitting here this morning counting my blessings and taking a moment to realize how fortunate I am, was to put it out there that no matter how your life is now, no matter how defeated you may feel at the moment, life can turn on a dime if you let it. It takes work and courage and a willingness to abandon old beliefs and habits and whatever has been holding you back, but you can accomplish great things if you put you mind and your shoulder to it and not let anything stop you. Making that list so many years ago when I had no reason to think any of it would ever become reality was that first tiny push to cracking the door of possibilities. I didn't need to believe at the time that any of it would happen, because I didn't! lol! I don't know why I taped it up rather then tear it up, but it was the beginning of the change for me. My life really began at 42 and by the time I was 50, I was finally feeling free to be the person I should have been all along.
Never underestimate your ability to change yourself or the circumstances of your life. We are so much more powerful then we believe ourselves to be. Some things in life happen to us, but most things happen because of us. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for the situation you're in because that just means you can change it.
So..turning 55? Well....that just means I have had one more year to celebrate my life that it took so long for me to discover.
Diary Of A Chubby Kid
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 01/16/14:
From about 13 years old on I starved myself. I had been a chubby kid all my life and once I got in Jr High the teasing was relentless. 7th and 8th grade were horrible, but that summer I started restricting calories and lost weight. My family was happy to see me losing and didn't seem to care how I was doing it. I got through 9th grade very hungry, but I was able to fit in and wear those hip huggers and tight clothing and yes, my beloved Dittos, a brand of pants very popular in the 70's. I still felt very fat compared to all my super lean friends. Being so tall, (5'9" ) I already felt like some kind of amazon.
I grew up in Southern California in the San Fernando Valley so it was very much an appearance consciousness culture and the beach was the place to be. I needed to be able to feel ok in a bikini to fit in with my friends. The summer before beginning high school I went on 800 calories or less a day. I didn't care what I ate, as long as it was under 800 for the day. A whole can of Franco American spaghetti has about 270 calories. I loved it. I would have a piece of white bread with it and call it dinner. That summer I dropped down to the size 6/7 and grew boobs and everything was looking GOOD! People were shocked when I showed up in High school. The problem was that I was starving every single day. I don't remember one day of high school that I wasn't faint with hunger. I left home in the morning starving, spent the day starving, and then picked at my dinner and went to bed starving. This was before anorexia was a thing, but I don't think I was anorexic. I just knew that the only way I could not be fat was to not eat. I had been on a diet my entire life so this was not far from normal for me.
I started getting sick a lot, then bruising and hair loss started. It worried my mom and dad enough to take me in to our old family doc to see what was wrong. He was forever testing me for diabetes as a kid and he thought for sure this time it would come back positive. It didn't and I didn't say anything about my diet. He congratulated me on my weight loss though! Oddly enough, I did eventually end up becoming diabetic.
It will always remain a mystery how in a family of 4 kids, 3 girls and one boy, that I was the only fat one. All of my siblings were stick thin. As children, we all ate the exact things in the same amount. My mom served us our meals and that was all she wrote. No seconds or in between snacking, nothing. We rarely had sweets or sugary drinks or chips and never ate out. I was the only active one too. I was a total tom boy and they all were couch potatoes. Honestly, I don't think I have a single memory of my brother ever being upright! lol!
I came to the earth this way. I was a chubby baby, (9lbs 3oz!) a chubby toddler, a chubby pre-teen, a starving teenager, and an obese adult. I never felt "normal". It took about 5 years after my weight loss with Cambridge to finally experience life without constantly thinking about my weight. It's not completely gone of course, but it's no longer in the forefront of my brain at all times. I know I will never be out of control again and that as long as I have Cambridge I can relax and live life, but that chubby kid is still in there. I should have a talk with her and let her know we are going to be ok.
From about 13 years old on I starved myself. I had been a chubby kid all my life and once I got in Jr High the teasing was relentless. 7th and 8th grade were horrible, but that summer I started restricting calories and lost weight. My family was happy to see me losing and didn't seem to care how I was doing it. I got through 9th grade very hungry, but I was able to fit in and wear those hip huggers and tight clothing and yes, my beloved Dittos, a brand of pants very popular in the 70's. I still felt very fat compared to all my super lean friends. Being so tall, (5'9" ) I already felt like some kind of amazon.
I grew up in Southern California in the San Fernando Valley so it was very much an appearance consciousness culture and the beach was the place to be. I needed to be able to feel ok in a bikini to fit in with my friends. The summer before beginning high school I went on 800 calories or less a day. I didn't care what I ate, as long as it was under 800 for the day. A whole can of Franco American spaghetti has about 270 calories. I loved it. I would have a piece of white bread with it and call it dinner. That summer I dropped down to the size 6/7 and grew boobs and everything was looking GOOD! People were shocked when I showed up in High school. The problem was that I was starving every single day. I don't remember one day of high school that I wasn't faint with hunger. I left home in the morning starving, spent the day starving, and then picked at my dinner and went to bed starving. This was before anorexia was a thing, but I don't think I was anorexic. I just knew that the only way I could not be fat was to not eat. I had been on a diet my entire life so this was not far from normal for me.
I started getting sick a lot, then bruising and hair loss started. It worried my mom and dad enough to take me in to our old family doc to see what was wrong. He was forever testing me for diabetes as a kid and he thought for sure this time it would come back positive. It didn't and I didn't say anything about my diet. He congratulated me on my weight loss though! Oddly enough, I did eventually end up becoming diabetic.
It will always remain a mystery how in a family of 4 kids, 3 girls and one boy, that I was the only fat one. All of my siblings were stick thin. As children, we all ate the exact things in the same amount. My mom served us our meals and that was all she wrote. No seconds or in between snacking, nothing. We rarely had sweets or sugary drinks or chips and never ate out. I was the only active one too. I was a total tom boy and they all were couch potatoes. Honestly, I don't think I have a single memory of my brother ever being upright! lol!
I came to the earth this way. I was a chubby baby, (9lbs 3oz!) a chubby toddler, a chubby pre-teen, a starving teenager, and an obese adult. I never felt "normal". It took about 5 years after my weight loss with Cambridge to finally experience life without constantly thinking about my weight. It's not completely gone of course, but it's no longer in the forefront of my brain at all times. I know I will never be out of control again and that as long as I have Cambridge I can relax and live life, but that chubby kid is still in there. I should have a talk with her and let her know we are going to be ok.
Welcome to 2014!
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 01/01/14:
Yes, another new year. Time is going so fast it seems. Do you have your goals set for 2014? I haven't put too much thought in to it yet, but I do know that I want to lose a few more pounds and get as lean as I can be. I haven't had a gym membership the past year and a half since we moved here to Florida. I have a beautiful pool, but it's unheated and yes, even here in sunny Florida it gets too cold to swim. You get about 6 months of the year before the water gets too cold. My goal is to need a new swim suit for summer because my old one will be too big!
This year had some challenges. My sister recently died. She was only 2,5 years older then me, (55) but she was diagnosed a couple of years ago (at the age I am now) with cardio pulmonary hypertension. She basically died of congestive heart failure. My mother died of congestive heart failure when she was only 62 and I also had congestive heart failure when I was only 26. So you can see there is definitely a genetic factor here I am determined to beat. Thankfully, I am currently in decent health, active and living as stress free of a life I can create. My Cambridge keeps me healthy and is my main tool for keeping a life time of obesity under control. I am so far away from the person I used to be 12 years ago. I understand that even though there may be genetic tendencies in my family, that doesn't mean I can't counteract them with a focused effort to eat and live healthy.
Yes, another new year. Time is going so fast it seems. Do you have your goals set for 2014? I haven't put too much thought in to it yet, but I do know that I want to lose a few more pounds and get as lean as I can be. I haven't had a gym membership the past year and a half since we moved here to Florida. I have a beautiful pool, but it's unheated and yes, even here in sunny Florida it gets too cold to swim. You get about 6 months of the year before the water gets too cold. My goal is to need a new swim suit for summer because my old one will be too big!
This year had some challenges. My sister recently died. She was only 2,5 years older then me, (55) but she was diagnosed a couple of years ago (at the age I am now) with cardio pulmonary hypertension. She basically died of congestive heart failure. My mother died of congestive heart failure when she was only 62 and I also had congestive heart failure when I was only 26. So you can see there is definitely a genetic factor here I am determined to beat. Thankfully, I am currently in decent health, active and living as stress free of a life I can create. My Cambridge keeps me healthy and is my main tool for keeping a life time of obesity under control. I am so far away from the person I used to be 12 years ago. I understand that even though there may be genetic tendencies in my family, that doesn't mean I can't counteract them with a focused effort to eat and live healthy.
I hope that 2013 was kind to you, and if it wasn't, I hope 2014 will be all you hope for. I am not one for magical thinking, but people seem to be expressing a common sense that 2014 is going to be a great year. If we welcome it with that attitude, then we stand a much greater chance of it being so.
If you have weight to lose, don't wait another day. Go to my website at cambridgediet.org and order your product today. You will have it in your hands in less then 7 working days. You can take the time you spend waiting for it to clean out all the sugar and simple carbs in your diet to prepare your body for an easy transition to the diet. There is nothing else out there that can give you the results that Cambridge can!
If you have weight to lose, don't wait another day. Go to my website at cambridgediet.org and order your product today. You will have it in your hands in less then 7 working days. You can take the time you spend waiting for it to clean out all the sugar and simple carbs in your diet to prepare your body for an easy transition to the diet. There is nothing else out there that can give you the results that Cambridge can!
The New Bars Are Dreamy!
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 12/03/13:
I just got my first order of the new Cambridge Bars yesterday. I've been with this company for many years and have tried bars from all the various manufacturers we have had. The company has had to change manufacturers several times due to changes made by those companies and Cambridge's goal to keep the bar's high standard nutritional profile while still keeping the cost affordable for our customers. This new batch is a home run! They are to die for! If you have never tried the bars before, or you tried previous bars and were less then thrilled with them, you simply MUST try these. Honestly, I can't believe these taste so divine while still keeping to only 150 calories with 15 grams of protein. I like that the boxes only have 7 this time too. That way you can afford to buy a variety of flavors if you want. So, my recommendation is to go directly to my website at cambridgediet.org and place your order today. These will fly off the warehouse shelves and my guess is that they may sell out before the next run. The holiday season in full swing and treats and goodies will be coming at you from every direction. It is more important then ever that you have something to make you feel like you are not being deprived and these will do the trick. In fact, I bet everyone else will be jealous and want one too!
I just got my first order of the new Cambridge Bars yesterday. I've been with this company for many years and have tried bars from all the various manufacturers we have had. The company has had to change manufacturers several times due to changes made by those companies and Cambridge's goal to keep the bar's high standard nutritional profile while still keeping the cost affordable for our customers. This new batch is a home run! They are to die for! If you have never tried the bars before, or you tried previous bars and were less then thrilled with them, you simply MUST try these. Honestly, I can't believe these taste so divine while still keeping to only 150 calories with 15 grams of protein. I like that the boxes only have 7 this time too. That way you can afford to buy a variety of flavors if you want. So, my recommendation is to go directly to my website at cambridgediet.org and place your order today. These will fly off the warehouse shelves and my guess is that they may sell out before the next run. The holiday season in full swing and treats and goodies will be coming at you from every direction. It is more important then ever that you have something to make you feel like you are not being deprived and these will do the trick. In fact, I bet everyone else will be jealous and want one too!
The World We Live In
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 09/29/13:
It's just a sad fact that for us here in the country, food is an obsession. More so now then ever before with social media recipe sharing, cable food channels on tv, even network cooking competitions are pretty much taking over programming. It's impossible to avoid all the food stimuli and we are no better then Pavlov's dogs. We see, hear, or smell food and we want to eat it. It doesn't matter if our body does not need calories or nutrition at that moment. We've been conditioned to eat pretty much whenever and whatever we want.
This work you are doing now, retraining yourself to say "no" to things you want but know you don't need, is building mental muscle for the rest of your life. You always have had the power and the right to turn down any substance that you feel is harmful for your body. Addicts of all kinds have to learn this, that you can't justify harming yourself to spare the feelings of others. One thing I have seen happen a lot over the years is when one person in a relationship or in a group of friends begins to take control of their weight and their health, the other/s will feel threatened or left behind or angry that their eating buddy has abandoned them. I've seen marriages end over one member of the couple losing weight. It also tends to force the other/s to see their own bad habits...no one likes that!lol!
Once you lose your weight all these same events and people will still be there knocking at your door. If you lose your weight and then go back to the behaviors and habits that got you obese, you will be obese again. The people in your social circle no doubt have their own health and weight issues and misery loves company as they say. It's going to be a project to become a new and improved version of yourself that has no problem saying no to anything or anyone that is detrimental to your health and well being. You'll know you've beaten it when you can say no and not feel sad about it, but feel powerful and strong and healthy. Others in your life will learn that you have chosen a new lifestyle that they will have to respect. You won't worry about hurting feelings or disappointing someone who is not interested in your best interest. Ideally, you will set a good example to others who may also want to find their way out of a bad lifestyle. They will see your glowing good health and happiness and want it too!
It's just a sad fact that for us here in the country, food is an obsession. More so now then ever before with social media recipe sharing, cable food channels on tv, even network cooking competitions are pretty much taking over programming. It's impossible to avoid all the food stimuli and we are no better then Pavlov's dogs. We see, hear, or smell food and we want to eat it. It doesn't matter if our body does not need calories or nutrition at that moment. We've been conditioned to eat pretty much whenever and whatever we want.
This work you are doing now, retraining yourself to say "no" to things you want but know you don't need, is building mental muscle for the rest of your life. You always have had the power and the right to turn down any substance that you feel is harmful for your body. Addicts of all kinds have to learn this, that you can't justify harming yourself to spare the feelings of others. One thing I have seen happen a lot over the years is when one person in a relationship or in a group of friends begins to take control of their weight and their health, the other/s will feel threatened or left behind or angry that their eating buddy has abandoned them. I've seen marriages end over one member of the couple losing weight. It also tends to force the other/s to see their own bad habits...no one likes that!lol!
Once you lose your weight all these same events and people will still be there knocking at your door. If you lose your weight and then go back to the behaviors and habits that got you obese, you will be obese again. The people in your social circle no doubt have their own health and weight issues and misery loves company as they say. It's going to be a project to become a new and improved version of yourself that has no problem saying no to anything or anyone that is detrimental to your health and well being. You'll know you've beaten it when you can say no and not feel sad about it, but feel powerful and strong and healthy. Others in your life will learn that you have chosen a new lifestyle that they will have to respect. You won't worry about hurting feelings or disappointing someone who is not interested in your best interest. Ideally, you will set a good example to others who may also want to find their way out of a bad lifestyle. They will see your glowing good health and happiness and want it too!
Taking a moment
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 09/07/13:
As I sat here the past couple of hours responding to my daily morning emails for Cambridge I was harking back (that's a word I never get to use! lol!) to my previous life before losing my weight. It's been a while now, but because I had spend the majority of my life suffering from weight and food issues the memories are still clear. The one emotion that comes to the front when remembering that life is confusion. I was so completely incapable of managing my eating or understanding how to eat correctly. I had gone through a million different diets over the course of my life beginning in childhood, each one contradicted the last. By the time I reached my early 40's...and 340+ pounds...I was lost. Hopeless is the next emotion I remember. I had never lived a normal life. I had never put a single bite of food in my mouth without feeling guilty. I concluded that I could never be "normal", that obesity was my destiny and that like my mother, it would be what killed me.
When I look at my old before pictures I can see those emotions on my face. It's painful to see, but it reminds me of how grateful I am that I found my way free.
Take a moment today and think about all the pain and suffering your weight has caused you. What price have you paid for it? A house is built one nail at a time. Our weight is built one bite at a time. Never allow the thought to grow that "This one bad choice won't hurt or one more week of my life spent eating whatever I want won't matter". It does hurt and it does matter.
Today, I am remembering how grateful I am that my search is over. No more waiting for the next "miracle" diet or pill or surgery. I found my miracle and along the way I found the life I wanted. It took a lot of work and frustration and self analysis, but here I am, happy and healthy and experiencing the life I denied myself for so many years.
As I sat here the past couple of hours responding to my daily morning emails for Cambridge I was harking back (that's a word I never get to use! lol!) to my previous life before losing my weight. It's been a while now, but because I had spend the majority of my life suffering from weight and food issues the memories are still clear. The one emotion that comes to the front when remembering that life is confusion. I was so completely incapable of managing my eating or understanding how to eat correctly. I had gone through a million different diets over the course of my life beginning in childhood, each one contradicted the last. By the time I reached my early 40's...and 340+ pounds...I was lost. Hopeless is the next emotion I remember. I had never lived a normal life. I had never put a single bite of food in my mouth without feeling guilty. I concluded that I could never be "normal", that obesity was my destiny and that like my mother, it would be what killed me.
When I look at my old before pictures I can see those emotions on my face. It's painful to see, but it reminds me of how grateful I am that I found my way free.
Take a moment today and think about all the pain and suffering your weight has caused you. What price have you paid for it? A house is built one nail at a time. Our weight is built one bite at a time. Never allow the thought to grow that "This one bad choice won't hurt or one more week of my life spent eating whatever I want won't matter". It does hurt and it does matter.
Today, I am remembering how grateful I am that my search is over. No more waiting for the next "miracle" diet or pill or surgery. I found my miracle and along the way I found the life I wanted. It took a lot of work and frustration and self analysis, but here I am, happy and healthy and experiencing the life I denied myself for so many years.
One More Reason Why I Love Cambridge!
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 07/18/13:
It was a hot muggy day today and I spent more of it outside then usual.
My pool is getting shocked right now (it was florescent green) so I couldn't jump in to cool off my overheated brains.
I had my Cambridge Oats and a cup of coffee this morning as usual. Lunch time I was out running errands and I didn't get home until 2. I had lots of groceries to put away and organize so I made a quick shake to tide me over. I got started on dinner for the fam and got even MORE hot and the green pool was mocking me! I try not to have the oven on but tonight required it. UGGG!!!! My hubby got home from work at 6 and I got his food for him and just couldn't bear to eat a bite. I made another shake and it was so lovely, icy, and delicious! It is so nice on a hot day like this to have an alternative to eating.
So today without intending to, I sole sourced. Summer time is a great time to make a lot of progress on your weight loss. When it's hot and yucky it feels good to not be loaded down with a lot of food in your stomach. It's too hot to cook anyway! Take advantage of this hot weather and enjoy your nice frosty shakes.
It was a hot muggy day today and I spent more of it outside then usual.
My pool is getting shocked right now (it was florescent green) so I couldn't jump in to cool off my overheated brains.
I had my Cambridge Oats and a cup of coffee this morning as usual. Lunch time I was out running errands and I didn't get home until 2. I had lots of groceries to put away and organize so I made a quick shake to tide me over. I got started on dinner for the fam and got even MORE hot and the green pool was mocking me! I try not to have the oven on but tonight required it. UGGG!!!! My hubby got home from work at 6 and I got his food for him and just couldn't bear to eat a bite. I made another shake and it was so lovely, icy, and delicious! It is so nice on a hot day like this to have an alternative to eating.
So today without intending to, I sole sourced. Summer time is a great time to make a lot of progress on your weight loss. When it's hot and yucky it feels good to not be loaded down with a lot of food in your stomach. It's too hot to cook anyway! Take advantage of this hot weather and enjoy your nice frosty shakes.
Father's Day and Positive Changes
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 06/17/13:
I hope those of you that had a reason to celebrate Father's Day enjoyed the day. This year was something new for us. Normally Father's Day was a sad day in my kid's lives. My first husband was never an involved father to my two oldest and my youngest son never even met his father. We divorced while I was pregnant and I never saw him again. There was a lot of pain for my kids growing up in spite of my best efforts to ease it for them.
A year and a half ago I married my wonderful husband Andy and he has been more of a father to my kids then any of us could ever imagine. My "kids" are grown, but even as adults they have benefited tremendously from his unconditional love for them and for me. My daughter and my youngest son (21) are living with us right now and as much as I would love to have my nest empty, I am grateful for the example Andy has given them of what a good honorable kind and loving man should be.
The changes I made 12 years ago put me on a course to eventually find the happiness I have now. Cambridge was a major player in that change, but I also had to believe in my ability to accomplish my goal. It was a process. At first I felt powerless and completely hopeless, but after one week a little light of hope was lite and then over time it was a beacon for me to head towards.
Life can turn on a dime, or it can evolve slowly, but positive change never happens unless we seek it, accept it, embrace it and power towards it. It doesn't happen to us, it happens because of us.
indulging cravings and impulses and addictions is like a snow ball rolling downhill. It creates its own energy and it takes force to not only stop it, but to change it's course. Pushing that snow ball back uphill is hard, but eventually you reach the peak and before you know it, it melts in the sun!
Everyone has their own set of struggles, but we share one common goal...to improve ourselves and our lives. Whatever hand you've been dealt, whatever pain you have caused yourself, it is never too late to try for something better. There is no telling what happiness may be out there waiting for you.
A year and a half ago I married my wonderful husband Andy and he has been more of a father to my kids then any of us could ever imagine. My "kids" are grown, but even as adults they have benefited tremendously from his unconditional love for them and for me. My daughter and my youngest son (21) are living with us right now and as much as I would love to have my nest empty, I am grateful for the example Andy has given them of what a good honorable kind and loving man should be.
The changes I made 12 years ago put me on a course to eventually find the happiness I have now. Cambridge was a major player in that change, but I also had to believe in my ability to accomplish my goal. It was a process. At first I felt powerless and completely hopeless, but after one week a little light of hope was lite and then over time it was a beacon for me to head towards.
Life can turn on a dime, or it can evolve slowly, but positive change never happens unless we seek it, accept it, embrace it and power towards it. It doesn't happen to us, it happens because of us.
indulging cravings and impulses and addictions is like a snow ball rolling downhill. It creates its own energy and it takes force to not only stop it, but to change it's course. Pushing that snow ball back uphill is hard, but eventually you reach the peak and before you know it, it melts in the sun!
Everyone has their own set of struggles, but we share one common goal...to improve ourselves and our lives. Whatever hand you've been dealt, whatever pain you have caused yourself, it is never too late to try for something better. There is no telling what happiness may be out there waiting for you.
Recovery From Addiction, My Personal Experience
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 05/21/13:
Over the years I have had board members generously share their stories, their fears, their addictions and their successes. I appreciate their bravery and their courage to open up and put it here on the board so that they can begin the road to recovery. Honesty is one of the most important aspects of this challenge. As I've said before on here, you can be the most honest person in the world in all of your dealings, but when it comes to addictions and behaviors, lying, hiding and secrets are usually part of it. Coming here and not being afraid to tell your story is the first step to being free.
Food addictions and eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, but it boils down to self abuse and deception, even if that deception is to no one else but yourself. At times I felt like I was beating myself to death with food. The more I ate uncontrollably, the more I hated myself...and the more I ate. I hid food. I lied about food. I thought about it constantly and manipulated others to participate in my problem so I didn't have to feel guilty. My kids suffered from my choices. It can be a vicious cycle that seems completely hopeless when you are in its grip. I 100% believed that death by obesity was my destiny and nothing could convince me otherwise. I had watched my mother die from it. It was my identity. It was what all things in my life revolved around. I had fought this beast my entire life since the age of two.
Recovery is a process. It doesn't happen when the weight is gone. For years I was still an obese woman in a small body. The anxiety and fears of failure were there all the time. I knew I could gain it all back in a heartbeat. When I would go in to a store, bypassing the large size department and go in to the "regular" sizes, I felt like any minute someone would come to me and say, "There is nothing here for you. You don't belong here"...kind of like that scene from "Pretty Woman". It didn't help any that I felt like there was a constant spotlight on my head. Everywhere I went, people that knew me would freak out when they saw me. Others that had never given me the time of day would come to me like I was their long lost best friend and fawn all over me about my weight loss. Even weirder were the people who I'd known for years that didn't recognize me at all until I spoke to them. It's a strange place to be. I had a lot of emotions to sort through...a whole new life to build. I had not expected to live much past my 40's. I hadn't made any plans! Suddenly I was evidently going to have a future and I had no idea what to do with it. All this going on inside a person who only a few months previously had been the invisible fat woman in the room. Husbands flirted with me, wives glared at me, strangers talked to me, I had to learn how to be a whole person, present in my body and function in the world which for most of my adult life I had been on the outside peering in. People had expectation of me! I was very used to sliding by under the radar using my weight and my disabilities as my excuse to not function.
That picture seems bleak and I'm sorry for that, but it was my experience. Of course, there were just as many extraordinarily amazing things that happened. The first time my 9 year old son wrapped his arms around my waist and said "Look mom! I can grab my wrists!". Going out in to a world that I could now be a part of was like being out of prison. Not fearing abusive comments or stares or broken chairs or fitting in a booth or theater seat. Buying clothes because I liked them, not just because they fit... and then buying it in every color in case I couldn't find it again. Wearing colors, not just black or navy or brown. Feeling feminine again and no longer feeling like the "3rd sex". For years I had felt like there were men, women, and then there was me.
So back to the subject of recovery. I get asked all the time if there really is such as thing as recovery from obesity and all that goes with it. It's been 11 years since I lost my weight. it took about 3 years for me to get my brain caught up to my body. Things happened along the way. My beloved Aunt died not too long after I moved her in with me to care for her. It was devastating and I felt lost for about 6 months. Unknowingly I gained about 60 pounds. I woke up from my grieving and got things back under control, but it scared me to think I was still not free from this thing. All I wanted was to feel peace. I wanted my life to focus on seeking a peaceful and undramatic connection with food, to become almost indifferent to it. My life long cravings and behaviors that had enslaved me were still there, simmering under the surface.
Like any addiction, you have to work at your recovery. You have to know what you want first. You also have to believe in your ability to accomplish it. You have to replace old behaviors and thoughts with new ones. What do you want? What will you do to take yourself there? What is the ultimate goal? Short term, mid term, long term, don't be afraid to visualize all of them whether physical, emotional or spiritual. All the energy we have dedicated to negative and damaging thoughts and actions can now be devoted to positive changes that will free you and over time you will heal, you will recover. Never underestimate your ability to change. You have strength and power in your own life that you are probably not aware of. If you could open your head and scoop out all the negative messages there from others or yourself, what would that feel like? Poof! It's gone! What are you left with? That is your truth. Start from there and move forward. If you fall, pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Recovery is there. Freedom is there. Peace is there.
I can say with complete confidence that I am free from my past. I no longer crave food or hear it calling and taunting me. I can look at pretty much anything and feel complete ambivalence towards it. I don't feel deprived or sadness or anxiety when I am around foods that in the past would have driven me crazy. I have so much more in my life now that is real. The physical benefits of weight loss are obvious, but the emotional reward of overcoming addiction and all that goes with it is the most surprising and life changing.
Over the years I have had board members generously share their stories, their fears, their addictions and their successes. I appreciate their bravery and their courage to open up and put it here on the board so that they can begin the road to recovery. Honesty is one of the most important aspects of this challenge. As I've said before on here, you can be the most honest person in the world in all of your dealings, but when it comes to addictions and behaviors, lying, hiding and secrets are usually part of it. Coming here and not being afraid to tell your story is the first step to being free.
Food addictions and eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, but it boils down to self abuse and deception, even if that deception is to no one else but yourself. At times I felt like I was beating myself to death with food. The more I ate uncontrollably, the more I hated myself...and the more I ate. I hid food. I lied about food. I thought about it constantly and manipulated others to participate in my problem so I didn't have to feel guilty. My kids suffered from my choices. It can be a vicious cycle that seems completely hopeless when you are in its grip. I 100% believed that death by obesity was my destiny and nothing could convince me otherwise. I had watched my mother die from it. It was my identity. It was what all things in my life revolved around. I had fought this beast my entire life since the age of two.
Recovery is a process. It doesn't happen when the weight is gone. For years I was still an obese woman in a small body. The anxiety and fears of failure were there all the time. I knew I could gain it all back in a heartbeat. When I would go in to a store, bypassing the large size department and go in to the "regular" sizes, I felt like any minute someone would come to me and say, "There is nothing here for you. You don't belong here"...kind of like that scene from "Pretty Woman". It didn't help any that I felt like there was a constant spotlight on my head. Everywhere I went, people that knew me would freak out when they saw me. Others that had never given me the time of day would come to me like I was their long lost best friend and fawn all over me about my weight loss. Even weirder were the people who I'd known for years that didn't recognize me at all until I spoke to them. It's a strange place to be. I had a lot of emotions to sort through...a whole new life to build. I had not expected to live much past my 40's. I hadn't made any plans! Suddenly I was evidently going to have a future and I had no idea what to do with it. All this going on inside a person who only a few months previously had been the invisible fat woman in the room. Husbands flirted with me, wives glared at me, strangers talked to me, I had to learn how to be a whole person, present in my body and function in the world which for most of my adult life I had been on the outside peering in. People had expectation of me! I was very used to sliding by under the radar using my weight and my disabilities as my excuse to not function.
That picture seems bleak and I'm sorry for that, but it was my experience. Of course, there were just as many extraordinarily amazing things that happened. The first time my 9 year old son wrapped his arms around my waist and said "Look mom! I can grab my wrists!". Going out in to a world that I could now be a part of was like being out of prison. Not fearing abusive comments or stares or broken chairs or fitting in a booth or theater seat. Buying clothes because I liked them, not just because they fit... and then buying it in every color in case I couldn't find it again. Wearing colors, not just black or navy or brown. Feeling feminine again and no longer feeling like the "3rd sex". For years I had felt like there were men, women, and then there was me.
So back to the subject of recovery. I get asked all the time if there really is such as thing as recovery from obesity and all that goes with it. It's been 11 years since I lost my weight. it took about 3 years for me to get my brain caught up to my body. Things happened along the way. My beloved Aunt died not too long after I moved her in with me to care for her. It was devastating and I felt lost for about 6 months. Unknowingly I gained about 60 pounds. I woke up from my grieving and got things back under control, but it scared me to think I was still not free from this thing. All I wanted was to feel peace. I wanted my life to focus on seeking a peaceful and undramatic connection with food, to become almost indifferent to it. My life long cravings and behaviors that had enslaved me were still there, simmering under the surface.
Like any addiction, you have to work at your recovery. You have to know what you want first. You also have to believe in your ability to accomplish it. You have to replace old behaviors and thoughts with new ones. What do you want? What will you do to take yourself there? What is the ultimate goal? Short term, mid term, long term, don't be afraid to visualize all of them whether physical, emotional or spiritual. All the energy we have dedicated to negative and damaging thoughts and actions can now be devoted to positive changes that will free you and over time you will heal, you will recover. Never underestimate your ability to change. You have strength and power in your own life that you are probably not aware of. If you could open your head and scoop out all the negative messages there from others or yourself, what would that feel like? Poof! It's gone! What are you left with? That is your truth. Start from there and move forward. If you fall, pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Recovery is there. Freedom is there. Peace is there.
I can say with complete confidence that I am free from my past. I no longer crave food or hear it calling and taunting me. I can look at pretty much anything and feel complete ambivalence towards it. I don't feel deprived or sadness or anxiety when I am around foods that in the past would have driven me crazy. I have so much more in my life now that is real. The physical benefits of weight loss are obvious, but the emotional reward of overcoming addiction and all that goes with it is the most surprising and life changing.
Getting Unstuck
Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 03/10/13:
If you are still bundled up and not yet facing shorts and tiny tops then you still have time to make a ton of progress before the snow melts! Don't wait another week. If you haven't already ordered your Cambridge there is no better time then now. If you are already working the program and maybe feeling a little like your goal is still a long ways away, or you are settling in to some non-progressive habits, now is the time to revitalize your program with some changes. If you haven't started any kind of exercise then that may be just what you need to recharge and renew your focus. Or, maybe you need to change up what you've been doing and try something new. Grab a friend and find a Zumba class or go hiking if the weather permits. Movement is a great anti-depressant. It gets the endorphins and blood flowing and the muscles and mind energized.
Some of you have been working towards a long term goal and I applaud your stick-to-it-ness. When you have 100 or 200 or more pounds to lose it can seem like it's taking forever even though Cambridge offers you faster results then anything else out there. This time will pass, whether you spend it Cambridging or eating junky take-out. You can either be closer to your ultimate goal..or worse off then you are now or stuck. Even under the best of circumstances (which Cambridge gives you) losing weight is hard. Overcoming food addictions and behaviors is hard. Living in a food obsessed culture is HARD and doing something like Cambridge can feel socially isolating. Hang in there. I promise you this is worth any sacrifice you may now feel you are making. In hindsight, once I had lost my weight I wondered why I had wasted so much of my life before in such misery and denial. The time it took me to lose that first 120 pounds seems like a blink of an eye, but at the time it seemed like an eternity.
Stick with it, do something to shake it up (no pun intended!) and find ways to celebrate every day you succeed with your plan. You are doing something amazing. In this age of weight loss surgery being touted as the ONLY way a person can accomplish losing over 100 pounds, you are proving the truth, that we each have within ourselves the power to create tremendous change in our own life. Don't give your control over to someone or something else. When you take control of yourself and do the work, you will be filled with a sense of pride that no amount of food could ever equal.
If you are still bundled up and not yet facing shorts and tiny tops then you still have time to make a ton of progress before the snow melts! Don't wait another week. If you haven't already ordered your Cambridge there is no better time then now. If you are already working the program and maybe feeling a little like your goal is still a long ways away, or you are settling in to some non-progressive habits, now is the time to revitalize your program with some changes. If you haven't started any kind of exercise then that may be just what you need to recharge and renew your focus. Or, maybe you need to change up what you've been doing and try something new. Grab a friend and find a Zumba class or go hiking if the weather permits. Movement is a great anti-depressant. It gets the endorphins and blood flowing and the muscles and mind energized.
Some of you have been working towards a long term goal and I applaud your stick-to-it-ness. When you have 100 or 200 or more pounds to lose it can seem like it's taking forever even though Cambridge offers you faster results then anything else out there. This time will pass, whether you spend it Cambridging or eating junky take-out. You can either be closer to your ultimate goal..or worse off then you are now or stuck. Even under the best of circumstances (which Cambridge gives you) losing weight is hard. Overcoming food addictions and behaviors is hard. Living in a food obsessed culture is HARD and doing something like Cambridge can feel socially isolating. Hang in there. I promise you this is worth any sacrifice you may now feel you are making. In hindsight, once I had lost my weight I wondered why I had wasted so much of my life before in such misery and denial. The time it took me to lose that first 120 pounds seems like a blink of an eye, but at the time it seemed like an eternity.
Stick with it, do something to shake it up (no pun intended!) and find ways to celebrate every day you succeed with your plan. You are doing something amazing. In this age of weight loss surgery being touted as the ONLY way a person can accomplish losing over 100 pounds, you are proving the truth, that we each have within ourselves the power to create tremendous change in our own life. Don't give your control over to someone or something else. When you take control of yourself and do the work, you will be filled with a sense of pride that no amount of food could ever equal.
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