Diffusing Triggers

I tell my clients that none of us got fat because we were hungry. We overeat for emotional reasons and because of a lack of coping options. At some point, we decide that food is an acceptable method of dealing with our feelings. We self medicate with food. It is not unlike any other addict. We sacrifice our self respect, health, and happiness to be numb in the present.

Stress and anxiety are two if the common triggers for destructive eating. We can temporarily distract ourselves from the issues and even get a little boost from "feel good" hormones that sugar and other food chemicals can stimulate. Finding a way to handle stress and anxiety in a constructive way is challenging. When you are in the midst of it you are the least capable of making a good decision and more likely to turn to food for sedation. Stress and anxiety hormones need a release. Adrenaline can damage your health if it is not used so a better alternative to eating is physical activity. You will get the endorphins, those "feel good" hormones, released in to your system. It is the body's preferred way of managing stress. Find a way to move your body, sweat and get out of breath.

Depression and loneliness can be overwhelming and food can become your solace and comfort.  At least in the moment you are eating it. Once consumed, it becomes more fuel for your depression.  The hardest thing for someone to do while feeling down is to reach out for help and support. The immediate desire is the exact opposite. Retreating and trying to stuff the feelings down with junk food is normal for someone feeling hopeless. It's a self  perpetuating cycle. Depressed-eat-regret-gain weight-feel out of control-more depressed-eat...and on it goes.  Food will never make anything better. It isolates you even more. The best way to reject old behaviors is to make new ones. Write your feelings in a journal with ideas of positive ways to manage them productively.  Find some way to connect with others. Recovery groups like OA can  help and of course, I am just a phone call away.

Pay attention to your thoughts. Take note of how life events direct your actions and reactions. If you get disturbing news, is your first reaction to go to the fridge?  I have a magnet on my fridge that says, "The answer is not in here. It's inside of you". It's a good little reminder.  Start paying attention to your triggers and come up with alternative productive ways of diffusing them. It's not easy to change, but it's required for a lifelong success story.

Addiction, depression, fighting back, giving up

Originally Posted by Pam Turner on 08/13/14:
With the suicide of Robin Williams, a lot of speculation is being shared regarding what the cause was for his tragic decision to end his life. He was after all, just a man. He had a career, a family, a couple of divorces, a health crisis, personal losses of friends, struggled with addictions and depression...not much different than the average person. The only thing that set him apart was that he was in the entertainment business. Lots of people are and there does seem to be a high level of deaths due to suicide and overdoses within those in the entertainment business, but maybe that is only because we are bombarded with the news when it happens with someone famous. People die every day for the same reasons that we never hear about. Some of us may even have someone in our family that ended their life or attempted to, or who maybe has addictions that they have not been able to overcome. What makes one person able to overcome and another one to give up?

We have discussed the concept of overeating as an addiction. Some people with chemical addictions take offense at that idea. They do not believe that food can be an addictive substance causing the person to knowingly be self destructive and even endanger their life by indulging in it like someone addicted to a drug or alcohol.

I think we do not need to classify things so much. Any person who repeatedly partakes in a substance or behavior that is harmful or destructive to mind and/or body is suffering from the same basic problem. Food, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, all can be the eventual end of life. All can rob the person of quality of life, end relationships, hurt innocent people, cause depression and a sense of failure. Logic tells the person to just stop. Quit. Change. Easier said then done.

Rehab is a popular option for drug and alcohol addictions, even sexual addicts have rehab....for those that can afford it. Eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia have recovery centers. All of these self destructive behaviors have intervention options. What is there for the obese? We are no different. Our psychology is very much the same as any other addict. Where is our rehab?

Depression and hopelessness is the natural result of a life out of balance, a life out of control. Not everyone can pull themselves out once they descend in to the pit, especially if they are still battling their addictions. My own personal experience with depression went on for many years. I was medicated and had some therapy, but it didn't cure anything. It wasn't until I got my addiction for food under control and began to put some distance between it and my sense of self that I realized I wasn't a "depressed person". I was a person struggling with an extreme problem that effected every aspect of my life. A problem that I felt powerless to do anything about, no matter how hard or how long I tried. I wasn't depressed. It was just that the life I was living sucked really bad.

Beginning the process of change is intimidating and scary and exciting and unknown. Those of us that hold tightly to whatever we have used to cope or to self medicate do NOT give it up willingly. We can't see life on the other side of addiction and believe that we can ever be truly and permanently free or at peace. The people in our lives grow weary of our repeated attempts at recovery and we gradually lose our support system and can find ourselves feeling alone.

What makes one person give up and another fight until they are free? Hard to say. To see someone who appears to have all the resources available to them to overcome their addictions, only to commit suicide...makes sense to no one but them. Oprah had unlimited resources to deal with her obesity. Personal chefs, personal trainers, therapy, some of the world's most respected minds a phone call away...she lost weight and gained it back the same as any other food addict. We are all the same.

When we lose someone like Robin Williams to addiction or suicide it shakes us up and can cause us to examine our own problems a little more closely. It is a time for empathy and an unfortunate opportunity to realize we are all battling our demons of one kind or another. He didn't have it in him to fight anymore. I can't imagine that kind of desperate sadness to actually do something to end my own life.

Hopelessness is the enemy. When a person loses hope, there is no more reason to fight or change or believe there is anything to save them. I have had the privilege of being in the receiving end of phone calls over the years of people making one more attempt at reaching out for help. They don't believe in themselves anymore or their ability to change. There is nothing better then if by the end of the conversation I hear the magic words, "I have hope". It's a beginning.

Never give up on achieving the life you want. Losing weight in no way gets the respect it deserves. Living life as an obese person is hard in every way. Overcoming what drives a person to self abuse with food is a tremendous accomplishment. Remaining "food sober" is no walk in the park either. We all know that. Never give up.